


Shatter

by heatinfreezing



Category: Halo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Feels, Smut, So much angst., human!Cortana
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-05-11
Packaged: 2018-03-05 13:50:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3122522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heatinfreezing/pseuds/heatinfreezing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We are defined by our choices. Honor, courage, commitment; all gone with a decision made in the span of a heartbeat. History will view him as a hero and savior, but inside he will know where he had failed, where he had cast aside that title. He will know when he had chosen his own reclamation over that of the human race. Even worse, he will know that he had no regrets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so I wanted to write something dark, angsty and smutty. I love Autonomy, but I just don't get to properly angst there. So this will be a series of loosely interconnected one-shots. I've always wanted to write a story like this, so here we are. It's smutty, it's sexy and damn I love writing it. #noshame. I also really wanted to get back more into the canon instead of the far out AU I normally write in. Obviously this is AU and isn't going to be canon compliant, but I miss writing in a more military environment. I'd love feedback, it's different than what you guys are used to from me.

Everything was on fire.

No, not really fire. John had seen fire before. When the Covenant had glassed planets and he looked down as the inferno blazed until there was nothing more to be consumed, that was fire.

There was a certain vitality to fire. Fire was life's greatest asset. Where there was fire, there was life and creation. Fire could be beautiful, it propelled the human race from cooking food to electricity and even faster than light travel.

He looked down at Earth as the Composer wrought nothing short of destruction upon the planet. There was nothing he could do. The Didact was gone and defeated, but there was no way for him to deactivate the composer quickly enough to avoid the horror he was witnessing.

Infinity and an entire fleet of ships firing their MAC guns at the blasphemous Forerunner instrument.

Before it was destroyed, it would consume billions of lives on Earth. Men, women, children, the Composer did not discriminate. In his quarters from orbit he was able to see the horror that was human life composed into pure data.

There was no creation in this. There would be no rebirth after the fire.

At least for Humanity.

"John–"

He felt a soft hand on his shoulder and he roughly shook it off.

No.

Cortana never, in all of her time existing as pure thought, would've imagined feeling dissatisfied with being able to touch John. She had imagined it over and over again, what her own organic fingertips would feel against his firm body, what the air in the room would be like, what he might smell like.

Touch was inadequate compared to the closeness they had shared a few hours ago. She would've given anything to be inside his head, inside of his thoughts and burying herself deep in his bones, his heart and his breath, making it her own, the only home she had ever truly had. But that wasn't the choice he had made.

And she was realizing rather quickly that his choice was killing him.

When she had split herself into clones, she had expected to die. There was no way that she had expected to make it. But if it had saved John, she would've been okay with that. She had been rapidly deteriorating, her rampancy would've consumed her sooner than later anyways. She would've been happy, happy to die for John.

Somehow, that hadn't happened. When he had had the chance to deactivate the Composer, he hadn't.

She had still been in its system. He hadn't known what would've happened. He'd chosen to wait.

The Composer left nothing for humans.

But for her, it brought change, a change that she had secretly longed for though never admitted.

Somehow, someway, she was organic. Perhaps it was just that she had existed as pure thought, something similar to a composed being. Maybe she had been the coherent version of what composition yielded. She had heard the thoughts of composed humans, and they were mere shadows of what they had once been, fractals of personalities and impulses.

There were things worse than death. So, so, many things far worse than the cessation of a heartbeat.

But for better or worse, the Composer had made her human. The feeling of air in her lungs had been simply stunning. Everything, overwhelming. She had experienced organic functions through John. She had understood the mechanics, but now, she could feel them, she could know them.

It left her feeling shock. There was no other way to describe it. Stunned by her existence, stunned by the feelings and the simultaneous sensation of being limited and limitless.

She watched John. His hands were gripped tightly upon the windowsill as he looked down at the horror. She stared at the shadows cast across his face. He was out of his armor, simply in his biosuit. She'd only seen him like this a handful of times in his career, more often than not he had been injured when he was out of armor. He didn't look simply upset. He looked disturbed–his mouth was fixed into a straight line and the intensity in his blue eyes was honestly frightening to her.

She felt hurt as she pulled away her hand from his shoulder. He'd never even been cruel to her. His approval had been all that mattered to her in the past, his own way of expressing affection, his wants, his dreams, his needs, his desires...all had been not only known to her, but had been her life, her entire world.

She left his side and sat down on the edge of his bed–she hadn't been assigned a bed, and she didn't know where to go so she had just followed him. She rested her cheek on her knees and looked at his strong profile as he stared out into space.

He was once again a mystery to her. Not long ago, he had been her everything, the only thing she had ever wanted. She'd found him captivating. He'd been her drug.

"Why did you do it?," she whispered.

She had never thought that silence was something you could feel until now. It filled the room and settled itself in between the two of them, widening the already unbearable distance between the two of them.

"Why, did you do it?," she repeated, her voice shaking with either anger or grief.

She watched his grip tighten and his knuckles turn white.

"Everything changed." His voice was throaty from what she was sure was the tension he was holding in his body.

"What changed, tell me, why didn't you destroy the Composer when you had the chance, why did you do that?," she was starting to collapse into hysterics.

Give me something, give me anything.

She watched him open his mouth to speak but his words failed him.

She wrung her hands together, a nervous habit she hadn't fully understood until she had had a body of her own.

He wanted to break something. He wanted to run, he wanted to be away, far, far away from her but he knew that such a thing would be impossible, that he couldn't leave her for reasons he simply did not understand.

She listened to him angrily pace around, similar to the way she had seen footage of animals in captivity pacing.

She stood up from the bed and moved to the door, her hand hovering over the panel that would open it.

"Where are you going?"

She glanced over at him.

"I don't know."

He ran a hand through his hair. He could feel a headache building. Every muscle in his body was tense, quivering with the cocktail of anger and adrenaline he felt flooding him.

Her presence was overwhelming him. He'd had her literally inside of him, inside of his mind and body existing in a part of him to the degree that he had sometimes doubted if there had been a true ending or beginning to either one of them. That feeling paled in comparison to her physical presence.

"Don't leave."

She put her hand on her hip and glared at him.

"Why the hell not? I don't need this bullshit, I don't need to sit here and feel guilty for being alive when I didn't even ask for this," she spat.

She watched his expression turn dark again.

"Why did you do it? Why?," she demanded again.

He felt his vision tunneling. He clenched his hands into fists so tightly he thought that his palms might bleed from the bite of his nails. He was so aware of her and her presence that he felt a strange galvanic response creep up his arms, causing his hair to stand on end.

"John!"

John. John. John. John.

How could she not understand? How could she not comprehend that in those moments he had given everything for her. Everything he stood for, everything that mattered to him completely gone the second he'd chosen her over billions of lives on Earth. All of the good he had done, the cause he had dedicated his entire life to was meaningless, he'd exchanged it, every last moment of it for her. What did she want from him? Did she want him to smile, to be okay with the fact that she had changed him, changed him into something he didn't understand or even recognize, something he feared.

He'd given her everything, what else did she need?

I may as well have killed them all myself.

He felt anger, anger sharp like a knife that started in his stomach and spread through his entire body. The room was red and he could feel his muscles tense and contract.

"John?," she murmured one last time.

He snapped. He moved so quickly that her eyes had a difficult time tracking the movement and his hands were on her arms, gripping them so tightly she was sure she would bruise.

"Do you want to be away from me?," he growled, his face so close to hers that their noses almost touched.

Her eyes were wide with fear. She had never felt afraid of him until this moment, and she had to admit that part of her felt absolutely exhilarated. The primal look in his eyes, the way his jaw clenched and his tight grip on her stirred something inside of her that she wasn't even close to understanding.

"Do you? What do you want? Anything, at this point it doesn't matter, just take more of me," he said angrily, pushing her against the wall roughly.

"What are you talking about?!," she struggled against his grip, though a part of her sincerely doubted her actual desire to break free.

_I need to know. When did it become about her? Was it a single moment or did it happen gradually over the years?_

When had he realized that she was everything, that life without her simply wasn't worth it, that he'd rather literally watch the world burn than exist for moments without her. She was the axis upon which his world spun, she was the sun, the moon, stars and everything in between. Without her, he was a Godless man with no purpose or cause, that much had been revealed to him when he had been faced with choosing between her and billions of human lives.

He'd do it again.

Something deep inside of him knew; some primal part of him that simply had not been able to be completely erased from him knew why he would literally let rivers of blood flow for her.

He loved her.

He hated what she had done to him. It wasn't what he stood for. He had spent his entire life defending humanity. He had been called upon to serve. The road was difficult. He sacrificed whatever he had needed–his childhood, his mind, his body, he had become the best that they could've possibly made him, a perfectly calibrated instrument of destruction.

All of it, completely tossed away in seconds because of the love he felt for her.

_I couldn't sacrifice her to complete my mission._

She was all he had ever wanted. Everything he had ever dreamed of. And she was here. The feel of her skin, the smell of her hair, it was all-consuming.

She kissed him.

He reflexively jerked away. She took the momentary distraction as an opportunity to pull free from his strong grip. She grabbed his shoulders and pushed him roughly to the edge of the bed, his feet falling out from underneath him. She straddled him and continued to kiss him. He gasped and she shoved her tongue in his mouth. She was firm and insistent.

He grabbed her waist and pulled her flush against his body, grinding her into his cock with little restraint. He didn't have any more restraint, it was all gone, disappeared as if it had never existed in the first place.

He had never felt want like this. Never imagined what a want like this could feel like, but it possessed him, it controlled him. He didn't understand what he was doing, he had been reduced to the most basic of desire. He ripped the t-shirt she'd been wearing apart as if it were thin as gossamer. Her breasts bounced from the swift motion and before he could even acknowledge the impulse he kissed her breast.

She let out a throaty moan that sent blood rushing to his groin. It was the most erotic thing he'd ever heard, which was strange because he had little to no experience with things of this nature, so he had no idea how he was even able to label it as such. She frantically clawed at his biosuit, her passion clouded mind having difficulty making sense of the clasp.

Without missing a beat he reached behind his head and pressed the release which made the suit fall loosely from his shoulders and aided her in pulling it down his back as he continued to press opened mouthed kisses across her breasts.

The room was suddenly unbearably warm. He shrugged his arms out of the biosuit and it fell to his waist leaving his torso bare.

She immediately ran her palms over his chest, sighing at how surreal it was to touch him. Sure, she had known what he looked like, she'd understood every part of his body on some level but the physiological response she experienced actually touching him was all-consuming. She lingered on scars she remembered. His muscles felt corded beneath skin that was surprisingly smooth, the sensation made her feel short on breath.

His hands made their way up to her breasts and he left sloppy kisses up her throat, this time she couldn't hold back a breathy sigh and she was rewarded with a groan from him.

She roughly grabbed him and kisses him, biting his bottom lip and she's sure it'll bruise. Their teeth knocked against each other's giving her a rush of satisfaction that she could've never imagined.

He hooked a finger on her shorts, elastic compression shorts that belonged to him, and pulled them down her legs with no hesitation. He had given up on any sense of propriety, he'd lost any real sense of honor when he'd chosen her.

She made a strangled sound as he touched her. He had no idea where this was coming from, why he knew that this was what he wanted, all he understood was that some base part of him wanted this more than he had known was possible. It wasn't simply the animal instinct part of him that longed for release, no, he had denied that for his entire life, it was her that he wanted and her alone. She was all consuming, she was his only true desire.

He bit at her earlobe and she can't handle it anymore. She pushed her hips against his hand and rocked against him in a movement that was a mimicry of what she knew she truly wanted and she pulled the biosuit down his hips revealing the flesh-toned undergarment worn with it. He kicked the suit off of his legs with little difficulty.

She glanced down at what she knew was his erection straining against the undergarment. She was too curious. She pulled the briefs away and down his legs and grabbed him without any inhibition. The shocked whimper he let out sent blood straight to her head. She watched his eyes glaze over with sheer desperation. She knew he was strong, he could break her with minimal effort but she knew she could undo him. She knew him and she would own him. He was her's and her's alone and she would make sure he accepted that.

He couldn't wait any longer. Any sliver of restraint he had had left was completely gone. He grabbed her waist and roughly pinned her underneath him on the bed. He kissed her again, this time he fisted a hand in her hair and the other squeezed her breast.

She pressed her hips up against him, the way she rocked against him making her intention clear. He parted her knees and settled himself above her, his hands on her shoulders trying to touch every inch of her.

"John," she sighed. It was the closest thing to begging he would ever hear from her.

He would've been surprised by his complete and utter lack of hesitation had she not said his name like that. Hearing his name from her lips was his undoing. It wasn't Chief, it wasn't Spartan, it was John, everything he had ever wanted from her all wrapped up in his name. It was John who had chosen her. John had beaten the Chief and the Spartan. He didn't deserve that title anymore, the Chief never would've picked an individual over the lives of billions, but John had in a heartbeat with no remorse. He pushed into her and they both groaned, her fingernails dug into his shoulders and she lifted her hips up to meet him, encouraging him, begging him to move. She was surprised at the complete lack of discomfort she had anticipated. No, any discomfort she was feeling was from his lack of movement. She couldn't stand this stillness. She wanted him to move. No, she needed him to move. She wrapped her thighs around his hips.

After the initial shock of what they were doing, of her being there, he couldn't hold back anymore, and he could tell she didn't want him to. It was hard, it was bruising and it was fast. She wasn't sure if she was crying out in pleasure or pain but she didn't want him to stop until she had it figured out. The feeling of him, the physicality between the two of them dwarfed anything they had ever experienced, it was closer than close, it was beyond anything she could put words to.

His thrusts started to get uneven and irregular. He leaned down against her and buried his face in her neck she felt more than she heard her name as he groaned it.

She felt what could only be described as electricity inside of her. Some primal, animal part of her knew exactly what she was headed toward, the normally rational, grounded part of her completely gone as she dug her fingernails into his shoulders desperately.

"John, please," she'd never imagined she would beg, but she'd never imagined that she'd want something this badly, that she'd be so close to such a wonderful discovery. All the knowledge in the universe would never compare to this feeling, the anticipation and the strange combination of pleasure, pain and desperation possessing every part of her drove her to a place she'd never even imagined. With a touch of his fingers, she was gone, her body unraveling and breaking into pieces, pieces she would never be able to pick up completely, a part of her would now always long for this and she didn't even care if it changed her.

He closed his eyes tightly, stars and fire coursing through his entire body. The feeling of her around him, her pleasure on her lips and apparent in the way she squirmed beneath him undid him. He swore and collapsed on her, moving slowly now as he rode out his pleasure. She felt the sweat on his body as he pressed his chest against hers and his frantically beating heart. She kissed him again, enjoying how he felt inside of her still and the aftershocks she still felt. He gripped her hair and face lacking the restraint she was so accustomed to from him.

They were silent in the long minutes afterwards, listening to the MAC guns fire at the Composer repeatedly as they crescendoed into what was surely the finale of his choice.

Light flashed across the ceiling in a blinding conclusion. He ran his hands over her body absent mindedly distracting himself from the consequences of his decision.

She reached for his hand and laced her fingers with his own.

"You need to lie on your after action report," she whispered.

His hand tracing circles on her breasts doesn't even pause. "I will."


	2. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okaaaay so smutty angsty feels train, here we go! I have no idea where I'm going with this train, but I'm having fun with it. Nice to be able to let out some angst. Please review, it would make my day. :)

"What of the Didact? Your Helmet-Cam footage indicates that he was killed."

John stood at parade rest, staring straight ahead. It was strange. Cortana felt nervous watching him being interrogated by UNSC top brass but she didn't know why.

"I saw him fall into a slipspace fissure," he said sharply, simply.

"But you did not see a corpse," said the older, slightly overweight General, staring at John with his beady eyes. Cortana didn't like his tone, nor his skepticism, but she simply sat, her hands folded in her lap and listened.

"No sir, General Hogan. The kill was not confirmed."

She watched the General to the left of Admiral Hood run his hand over his brow, clearly frustrated. "Well, that makes the destruction on Earth harder to sell if it could happen again. With no confirmed kill–"

"It doesn't matter, the Composer was destroyed," Cortana stood up, the heels of her boots clicking as she walked to John's side. He didn't turn to acknowledge her, he had too much military bearing for that, but she was different.

"Cortana," Admiral Osman looked directly at her. She was sitting in the middle, the center of power on the table, the four older men beside her. She was in the position of power. She had spoken the least in this entire meeting and Cortana knew that that reflected not only her station but her authority in the group.

"What do you have to say about the Composer and its effects? Are you confident in its destruction and our inability to replicate the technology?"

She shook her head.

"Even if we did have a chance of reverse engineering the Composer, which could take us perhaps hundreds of years, what happened to me was an anomaly. While I believe that the process would be possible to replicate with other AIs, the benefits wouldn't worth the risk of bringing such an instrument of destruction into the galaxy, tantamount to the the Halo Array. The process I underwent cured me of rampancy and has allowed me to retain some of my traits as an Artificial Intelligence, like interfacing with the Master Chief's armor while still maintaining a presence inside my body, but this is something I could have done as an Artificial Intelligence, simply without an organic body. Yes, I won't go rampant anymore, but creating a Composer wouldn't be worth the risk of it falling into enemy hands," she crossed her arms and looked at the top brass assembled for her and shifted her weight a little nervously.

"There's no reason to tell the general population about the Didact or even the Forerunner. Humanity has endured too much, it would be prudent to present this as a Covenant attack," Admiral Osman looked at her pointedly, as if she were waiting for something, "...ma'am," she finished awkwardly.

The female Admiral folded her hands on the table and glanced at her peers.

"I would say I have to agree," she said after a beat of silence, "but that doesn't solve what we do about you."

Cortana saw John shift his weight slightly, she could see he was nervous despite the fact that he was wearing his armor, she was familiar enough with his physical gestures that she could tell what he was feeling.

"Admiral Osman, ma'am–"

"We need to make a cover story," she spoke over him, acting as if he had never spoke, her eyes averting to the touch screens she had pulled up, "I'm scheduling you an appointment where you'll be assigned a surname, rank and occupational specialty code. If you so desire, you will resume your duties with the Master Chief where he is assigned."

Cortana raised an eyebrow.

"If I so desire?," she asked skeptically.

Admiral Osman folded her hands in front of her. "Of course. I won't make you do anything," she said slowly.

"Admiral, surely the UNSC would benefit from studying her," the Air Force General looked over to Admiral Osman.

The idea made Cortana feel sick. She felt a panic settle into her chest and she started to sweat. She still wasn't used to physiological responses that came with having an organic body and she found herself overwhelmed by the panic. She wanted to run away but she was grounded in one spot, unable to speak or move.

"Absolutely not."

The room took a collective gasp, all aside from Admiral Osman at the Chief's declaration.

Cortana glanced over at him. She'd seldom heard him raise an objection like that, the last time also concerning her when Del Rio had demanded he surrender her for decommissioning.

"You and I are both intimately aware of what being studied is like, John-117," said Admiral Osman, rolling her shoulders back, her face was passive but her eyes intense. Referring to him as John-117 was clearly deliberate. She could tell John was a little shocked by her reaction.

"What's your name?," he asked quietly, the other officers in the room looking a little perplexed.

"Serin Osman, we can discuss the matter later, Master Chief. With that aside, I'll have it be known that as CINCONI I do not sanction the abuse of Artificial Intelligence constructs and most certainly not one made organic–they are living beings, though sometimes life is merely a setback to the whims of knowledge seekers," she spoke in a measured rhythm despite the fact that she was clearly disturbed by the idea.

Cortana met eyes with the Admiral. Cortana knew about her, knew she was a washed out Spartan–II from John's class, though she wasn't sure if John had fully made the connection; the indoctrination they went through was rather effective in erasing early memories.

She wondered how much the Admiral knew, if she saw through the lie on John's after action report, that he had hesitated to save her and cost Earth in doing so.

She had no reason to believe that John was lying, no one did. She shook her head.

I need to focus on the task at hand.

"I would be assigned along with the Chief?," she asked hesitantly.

"I don't believe in fixing things that aren't broken," this time Admiral Hood spoke up, "I don't think anyone here would see it best for the UNSC if you were separated," he glanced at his peers in a manor that looked more like he was daring them to disagree with him. They didn't look like they were thrilled with the situation but they also didn't seem to have the gall to disagree.

She inhaled shakily, still feeling a little apprehensive about the situation.

"I accept my duty then," she said resolutely. She wanted to serve, she wanted to fix this, but more importantly, she needed to be with John.

Admiral Osman glanced her up and down and pressed an icon that scheduled her an appointment.

"Cortana, Master Chief, that'll be all, you're dismissed," she said sharply. She watched John crisply salute and perform an about face, which frankly looked a little strange in armor. She couldn't be bothered to adhere to the customs and courtesies so she simply turned around and followed him.

They left the interrogation room and Cortana heard the hiss of John's helmet decompressing as he pulled it off. He shook his head and was walking quickly, quickly enough that she had to err on jogging to keep up with him.

"Chief–"

He turned around, his mouth fixed in a frown.

"You can't just do that Cortana, do you understand how dangerous the people in that room are?," he said lowly.

"Of course I do," she replied. She was irritated. She wasn't stupid, far from it. She could handle this, she could navigate tense situations and she would do anything she had to to protect herself and to protect him.

"I don't think you do," he grabbed her hands in his carefully. She looked up at him and met his gaze, his previous anger and frustration replaced with concern. She was surprised at how gentle his hands felt holding her own. "You are vulnerable now, before there wasn't much they could do to you. Now…"

"Now what?"

"You fall under the jurisdiction of the UNSC."

"I always have," she replied.

"I know that it's just...the stakes are higher now if you get caught rerouting orders or making it look like someone is having an affair."

She reached up and ran her thumb over his cheek. He flinched slightly. She knew the somewhat public nature of the corridor made him feel uncomfortable, but she needed to touch him, she needed him to know that it was going to be okay.

"I'll keep that in mind," she said softly.

She could tell he was worried, his eyes were filled with concern. Most people would miss it, but she wasn't most people. She watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed.

"Cortana, I–"

"Master Chief, do you have a moment?"

Cortana pulled her hand away from him quickly and glanced down the hall to see Admiral Hood walking toward them.

"Admiral Hood, sir, of course," he said stiffly, cradling his helmet in his left arm.

"Hope I'm not interrupting anything," he said eyeing the both of them. Cortana fought a blush creeping up her neck. The last thing they needed were rumors about the two of them.

"My apologies to the both of your for the lack of professionalism in the room back there, a lot of heads are spinning right now and well...very few of our top brass seem to possess the skill of keeping their mouths shut until their brains have figured out what to say," he murmured conspiratorially to the both of them.

Cortana smirked.

Damn straight, that Army guy has got one hell of a mouth and no brains to match it.

"Not my place to comment, sir," said John swiftly, standing tall by the Admiral.

Lord Hood chuckled. "I wish it were John, I wish it were," he shook his head. "You know, you're home now, we could finally make an officer of you, you'd have Admiral without much of an argument from anyone."

Cortana had never thought of this. John, as an Admiral, commanding fleets and planning battles...it was a strange image, it quite honestly didn't suit him. That type of work was so hands off, so detached. John liked to be in the thick of it all, he wanted to be on the ground guns blazing–he was something of an adrenaline junkie, and so was she.

"No offense sir, but 'The Admiral' doesn't have quite the same ring to it," he said lightly.

Hood looked like he had just been slapped in the face while Cortana chuckled.

"Was that a joke, son? Didn't think you had it in you," he said, quite obviously a little astounded though amused.

"You should hear him when he's trying to hit the eject button on a drop pod, that's some funny stuff, he usually just ends up breaking the door," she said lightly.

Hood glanced at the two of them, as if he were just now realizing something.

"You two must know each other pretty well, now that I think about it," he observed.

They both shifted a little awkwardly, glancing at the other.

Well doesn't even begin to cover it. He's all that I know, I understand him better than myself.

"You could say that," he replied stiffly, following the Admiral to a room, clearly intended for mission briefs.

"Listen, I know you two went through a lot in the past few days and that we haven't even gotten you proper uniforms and a surname," he glanced at Cortana apologetically, "But I was hoping you two could advise a team," he said walking to the control panel.

"Of course, sir," said John steadily, glancing at Cortana.

Lord Hood looked at them both with a ghost of a smile on his face and lead them to the next room over where they saw three tall people in Mjolnir armor.

"Will you look at that?"

"John!"

"Oh my…"

The three Spartans looked at him with awe, she recognized them from memories of files and research: Kelly-087, Frederic-104, and Linda-058.

Kelly put her hand on her hip and smirked. "I never thought we'd see you again."

"Admiral Hood asked that we act as advisors for your mission," he said sharply.

For the first time since John had walked into the room, the three Spartans looked at her, very clearly perplexed.

"Who's this?," asked Fred, eyeing her warily. She knew that Spartans very seldom trusted those outside of their ranks.

"This is Commander Cortana Spencer," said Lord Hood, checking his datapad, he glanced at her, "If you find that agreeable."

The three Spartans snapped to attention and saluted sharply when Lord Hood walked in.

"As you were," he dismissed them. John looked a little too shocked at the idea of Cortana being an officer. That just added another level of impropriety to whatever their relationship was but he supposed they couldn't make her enlisted, she was too intelligent.

If they want to make me an officer that's fine. I'm in this for John and that's all.

He'd chosen her, he'd sacrificed for her and she would do the same for him, no matter how confusing and difficult things felt between the two of them. A commission would no doubt sew more tension between the two of them, there was already so much. She knew he resented her, view her as a liability now, but she also knew he couldn't stay away from her, she knew she exerted power over him. She didn't even feel guilty because he had the same control over her, even if he didn't realize it. A commission would bring her power.

Cortana cleared her throat nervously.

"I'll leave you to discuss," said Lord Hood, exiting the room, right as Admiral Osman was about to walk in.

Wow, we're popular today.

"Admiral Osman," acknowledged Fred. He was the ranking individual in the room, besides Cortana apparently but she was still a little shaken up at the idea of being an officer.

She waited for Lord Hood to leave before she spoke.

"None of that Admiral stuff right now, I don't think I can take it," she said crossing her arms in front of her.

John turned to her and scrutinized her, Cortana could tell he was trying to place her face.

"...019?," he asked tentatively.

She nodded. "Surprised to see me?"

"We were told you were dead," he said simply.

She chuckled. "We were told many things back then that weren't true," she glanced over at Kelly, Fred and Linda, "It's nice to see you three again. I must admit, sometimes the nostalgia gets me."

Kelly smiled a little while Linda's expression remained passive. Cortana had a feeling that she was even less expressive than John.

"You always have a place among us, Serin," said Fred. It was a kind statement with a more subtle meaning-she was still considered one of them, still welcome amongst their generation of Spartans, the most exclusive family in arms.

Serin smiled wryly.

"If it were that easy I would be here with you far more often, but that's simply not the hand I was dealt by fate. Regardless, the sentiment is appreciated," she looked over to Cortana.

"Commander, if I could have a quick word with you and the Chief before you start with Blue team."

It took Cortana a second to realize that she was being addressed as Commander.

Kelly, Fred and Linda left the room quickly. It made Cortana feel a little strange, though she understood the kind of influence an Admiral could have it was foreign. As an AI she had only paid attention to customs and courtesies when it suited her, it was another change she'd have to accept.

The Admiral muttered something under her breath and John looked at her strangely.

"Sorry, I was disabling the cameras in here so we can speak privately."

That's definitely an ONI thing, I've never seen an officer do that.

"As far as everyone needs to be concerned, Cortana, you have been and always will be who you are, you were never an AI, what happened, never happened."

"What is our backstory though? How did we meet?"

She shook her head. "I don't really care, as long as it's consistent and you two agree on it. It's better this way, for everyone involved, if you need anything, let me know," she made towards the door and right before she opened it she turned and looked over her shoulder.

"Commander, I'd advise that you make your way to medical when you can, you should both try to utilize discretion when it comes to your...personal relations, especially with one of you officer and the other enlisted though I doubt anyone would try to call you on it."

She left the room and Cortana felt an uncomfortable awkwardness settle between herself and John.

"Did she just imply that she–"

"She didn't imply much of anything," he said, clearly frustrated. Cortana frowned.

"Nothing has changed from before," she said quietly.

He glared at her and she once again found herself not quite sure what he was thinking, a sensation she was uncomfortable with.

"Everything has changed," he said lowly, turning away from her.

She watched the tension in his body and the way he clenched his jaw, his expression graver than usual.

It hurt. She didn't know what to do. The silence between them was palpable, though the sound of her heart was deafening in her own head, the constricted feeling in her chest pressing down on her made her want to scream.

"I always dreamed of being able to feel you, to touch you with my own hands, to look into your eyes with my own...but now," she swallowed a lump in her throat, "I wish you had let me die. I'd rather be dead than have you hate me," her voice cracked and she brought her hand to her mouth, trying to muffle her sob.

This is what crying feels like. This is strange and….terrible.

"Cortana–"

"No, stop!," she yelled, finally at her breaking point. She didn't want to hear his side right now, she frankly didn't care. She inhaled shakily and wiped the tears from her eyes roughly. "Just...stop, I can't do this right now. We have a job and that's still important to me, we need to get Blue team in here," she walked towards the door but he grabbed her arm, she gasped at the contact and pulled away sharply, opening the door.

"Blue Team, I'm ready for your SITREP."

* * *

Cortana let herself fall down on her bed, sighing and staring up at the ceiling.

_How do we have four years of relatively peaceful times and then John and I come back into the picture and suddenly the world goes to shit?_

She had somehow fallen into the commanding officer role for Spartan Blue, which she found strange. Sure, she was used to missions when she was with John, but the idea of being in charge of the other three was a little strange to her, though they didn't seem to question it after their first mission under her directives. They'd spent months recovering either Forerunner technology or destroying Human technology so it couldn't fall into the hands of the Covenant, in addition to rooting out the remaining Prometheans and Covenant splinter groups. It was a complex military situation that she knew she had navigated well, so she felt like she deserved the respect she garnered from Blue team.

She and John worked just as well as they always had together. More often than not, she remained shipside while she interfaced with his armor and guided him as she had as an AI, though it was significantly more limiting that it had once been she could still help him out by reading his neural impulses and transferring them to the armor more quickly.

They were back in Sydney and had taken up residence in the Spartan hall on post. All Spartans were technically assigned to the joint-force post in Sydney. Some of them had their own residences off of the station but many opted to live on post in the residence hall. Cortana found the accommodations acceptable, her own quarters had a kitchenette and a living room, though she couldn't speak for the enlisted rooms.

She was only two doors down from John's room, but they hadn't spoken since they'd come back from the last mission, and even so they hadn't been alone together for more than a month. They'd been busy, but he had made a concerted effort to avoid her and as far as she was concerned that was fine. At least, that's what she wanted to believe, really it wasn't fine, it was anything but fine and was slowly driving her insane. Aside from when she'd been imprisoned on High Charity and her time on the Dawn, this was the longest she had went without speaking with him, and this was certainly the first time they hadn't spoken due to a fight.

_Stubborn asshole._

She'd made her way to medical and taken the Admiral's advice, receiving a contraceptive shot, but it was standard for all UNSC personnel so she tried not to think on it too much.

She propped herself up on her side and glanced at her UNSC dress uniform that was currently hanging up on the back of her bedroom door. The silver oak leaf alongside the surname Spencer still didn't seem right to her, in addition to the relatively impressive ribbon wrack–she'd been awarded a POW medal for her time with the Gravemind which really surprised her, she didn't think that anyone would've actually taken that much time to consider her experiences as an AI.

She heard a knock on her door.

She groaned and hopped out of bed, dragging her feet toward the door and pressing the panel on the side.

She looked up–she was constantly around people taller than her, and caught John's pale blue eye.

Her initial reaction was annoyance, followed quickly by hurt.

But she couldn't turn him away. Wordlessly she stepped aside and let him in.

She stayed standing, she didn't want to sit because she looked ridiculous in the oversized, Spartan designed furniture.

"We need to talk," he finally said after the door closed behind him.

She crossed her arms.

"Oh, we're talking again?," she said sarcastically, crossing her arms over her chest, making a valiant attempt at looking indifferent.

"I don't think you appreciate my situation," he said.

She snorted indignantly.

"I know you. You know me, let's stop pretending that that much isn't true. You owe it to me to tell you what's going on with you."

"Nothing is going on with me, it's you who is distracting from the mission."

She was angry. "Oh, I'm not fulfilling the mission? Last time I checked Blue team would be wandering around shooting shit instead of securing essential assets across the reaches of the Galaxy were it not for me," she growled and pointed at herself.

* * *

Linda was reading in her bed. She liked to read, it was a solitary activity that improved her mind while simultaneously relaxing her. She enjoyed philosophy most often, it helped her shoot better and understand herself more.

That's why when she heard knocking on her door she felt instantly annoyed. She tried to ignore it for about half a minute until the knocking became more insistent.

She opened the door wordlessly to see Kelly, her hair in a low ponytail and in her PT gear. Linda raised an eyebrow. Kelly never asked her to exercise with her. Linda detested the sprints that Kelly insisted upon doing, she much preferred slow stretching with strength and balance exercises that improved concentration along with lengthy, slow runs, essentially the opposite of Kelly's spastic, strangely paced routine.

"If you're asking me to time your sprints, I've got a surprise for you: they're faster than anyone else's," she said sarcastically. Kelly often liked to show off when she could, especially in front of the young Spartan–IVs.

"No that's not it, let me come in," she said quietly walking into her quarters. Linda held back a sigh. She appreciated Kelly as a teammate but she found her desire for social interaction tiring. Regardless, she let her in.

Kelly looked nervously behind her as if someone might overhear her. This worried Linda, Kelly wasn't usually paranoid.

"What's wrong?," she asked seriously.

"I was going to go work out and I saw the Chief knock on the Commanders door and I could just...I don't know, tell that something was off, so I waited behind the corner-"

"You started eavesdropping," interrupted Linda.

Kelly glared, "No, I was maintaining situational awareness. Anyways, he went into her room," the way she said it Linda could tell that she was already upset about the idea of him going into an Officer's quarters. Of course they were social with Fred but he was only a Lieutenant and they had grown up together, and frankly John was more the authority figure on Blue team anyways. This was different, she was a Commander.

"Maybe they needed to discuss something in private," said Linda noncommittally.

"No, I don't think that's it. They behave strangely sometimes, it's been bothering me for the past few months. There's something off about them. They hardly speak off duty but finish each other's sentences, she almost always knows what he's going to say before he says it yet there's this...strangeness between them," Kelly fidgeted nervously, "so I kept listening and I heard them speaking in raised voices and I need you to come listen with me to prove I'm not crazy," she rambled.

Linda sighed exasperatedly.

"This isn't right," she mumbled, setting down her book disappointedly.

"I know, I promise if nothing sounds strange we'll leave right away and we can pretend this never happened."

"But if I don't come with you, you won't let it go," she supplied.

Kelly nodded quickly.

They made their way to corridor and sure enough, they heard raised voices.

Kelly glanced at Linda as if to say: I told you so!

Even Linda and her normally lone wolf mentality couldn't ignore this, she was too curious. They creeped as quietly as they could to the Commander's door and Kelly unashamedly pressed her ear against the wall. The walls were thick, but she could still make out a word here and there. They sounded angry.

She heard a muffled voice shout something, a voice that could only be John. Kelly gasped.

"I've never heard him shout like that," she whispered to Linda but Linda shhed her quickly, trying to decipher what they were talking about.

They heard a resounding clap that was the unmistakable sound of someone being slapped across the face with an open palm. Linda's jaw dropped.

"How dare you say that! How dare you even suggest that!," they heard the commander shout, her voice shaking with rage.

"Holy shit," whispered Kelly.

Even more shocking was when they heard him shout something back, their words getting angrier sounding until they heard a loud thump against the door that shook it. Without even thinking the both of them moved swiftly and silently to the thinner door and pressed their ears against it.

They heard the Chief whispering something to her and what was surely the Commander wiggling against the door.

For the first time in her career, Kelly felt frozen in place, absolutely stunned by what was happening.

For what felt like an eternity they stood there.

"John."

Linda's eyes widened and she looked at Kelly.

"Are they-"

Kelly was interrupted by a loud groan and another breathily sighed word that sounded something like please.

Kelly ran as quickly as she could back to her room, which was saying something. She sat in her living room, her eyes wide with embarrassment.

Linda followed silently afterwards and they both stared at each other for a moment.

"They were definitely-"

"Yes," said Linda shortly.

Kelly stared blankly at the floor.

"What the hell is the world coming to?"

* * *

"How about you try for even a second to understand how I might feel right now. You…" she sputtered for words, trying to describe what had happened that night on the Infinity, the way he'd ripped her clothes off of her, his hands everywhere on her body–

Stop.

"You need to control yourself," he said coldly.

She saw stars, her anger so hot in her stomach that she swore she could see red. It was building, tumbling inside of her. After everything she had done for him, after just how much she had been willing to give for him, to be told that she needed to control herself…

She heard the resounding slap her palm made against his cheek and saw the red print on his face, but she still hadn't quite made the connection that she was the one who had slapped him. He looked a little stunned. She could feel herself shaking with fury and shock that she'd struck him.

"How dare you say that! How dare you even suggest that…" she couldn't form a coherent sentence. She wanted to yell at him about at least ten different things ranging from I gave my life for you to Why don't you understand that I love you? She inhaled shakily, her chest heaving and her voice shaking, on the verge of tears though she couldn't determine if it was in grief or fury.

"I don't know what your endgame is in this whole situation is, but I'm tired of being jerked around, I won't stand for it, I'm your commanding officer and–"

She was shoved up against the wall so quickly that the air around them wasn't even disturbed by his movement, one of his legs between hers and his face inches from her own. She inhaled sharply, eyes wide with fear and, to her own shame, excitement. She could already feel her anger shift into a familiar swirl of arousal gathering low in her stomach.

"Try and pull rank on me when we're alone again, just try it," he whispered against her ear.

She shivered from the feeling of his warm breath on her neck.

"John," she whispered.

"I'm only going to say this once," he continued slowly, "I'm angry. Angry because my entire career became a lie the minute I chose your life over a billion lives on Earth. Despite the crippling shame that I feel, I can't stop thinking," he pressed himself against her roughly and she couldn't help but shudder at the sensation of him on her body, "about you, about how much I want you. I've never wanted any of this, never even dreamt of it until you and it scares me," he admitted.

He ran his hands over her shoulders and breasts, resting his hands on her hips.

"All I know is I can't stay away from you like I want to, like I should. I'm done trying. If I'm going to burn so be it," he pulled down her pants and tossed them aside. She frantically pulled his shirt over his head and pulled down his pants and underwear in one motion. He lifted her up with one arm bracing her weight against the door and gripping her hip so tightly she was sure it would bruise.

She gasped and clutched at his arms as he took her against the door. She didn't know if they were still angry at each other but even if they are she didn't want him to stop.

They'd only done this once before, but with how frantic his movements were becoming she could tell that he was close.

"I don't care anymore," he said more to himself, clenching his jaw.

He gasped against her shoulder and, still carrying her, walked over to her bed and collapsed. He kissed her on her neck and chest and everywhere he could reach, their legs still tangled up in the other's. She pulled off her shirt and pressed herself against him, both of them silent but unable to stop touching the other.

How did we not do this for months?

She kissed him softly, unlike any of the other times where they'd kissed in a fit of anger and passion. No, this time she just enjoyed the feeling his lips on her own. His lips were dry and a little swollen from kissing her as roughly as he had previously so she was gentle. She wanted to take time right now, time to appreciate everything from his rough fingertips on her cheeks to his torso pressed against her's and even his toes rubbing up against her calves.

"Do you regret this?," she asked him softly in between kisses.

He let himself enjoy the feel of her tongue tracing the edges of his teeth, for once not caring about the future or even the past between them. He could feel himself getting hard again just from the feeling of her soft body against his own. There would be no avoiding it this time around, no saving face. He had tried. He'd tried for two months to forget about her, to forget about her like he had forgotten about all of his other desires, but his body didn't forget and even worse, he couldn't forget. Now she had seen him in all of his undisguised want, his desperate vulnerability for her and he just couldn't bring himself to care.

"I regret a lot of things," he said, "but I don't regret this." It felt good to admit it, that he couldn't regret whatever had transpired between them, no matter what the consequences may have been or will be.

"As long as we're doing stupid things that we don't regret…" she whispered into the breathy silence between kisses.

The second time was slower, less crazed and surely less angry. This was the first time they'd been together that everything wasn't disorienting or confusing. They knew where they stood with each other, and if it couldn't be an ideal situation, at least it could be a clear one. They needed each other. They always had, and this was part of that now. This longing, this insatiable feeling that could only be temporarily dealt with was a part of whatever they were now.

She kissed her way down his torso, languid and unhurried, taking her time at the places where healing bruises from his last mission still marked his skin. He swept a hand through her short tousled hair and enjoyed its coarse texture as it fell through his fingers. He loved the way her breasts pressed against his skin, it was something he never had even thought about until the past few weeks. She mouthed over the expanse of his abdomen and lingered over the protrusions of his hip bones before making her way back up his torso and to his mouth again.

He felt every nerve in his body was on fire when she wrapped her hand around him again and straddled him, pressing herself into his thigh to satisfy herself as well.

He let out a strangled groan and watched her smirk with satisfaction. It was a face he never could grow tired of. She made that face when she figured something out, when she was proud. It was always the perfect mix of pride and arrogance and it was entirely her. She was figuring out his wants as surely as he was figuring them out.

"What do you want?," she asked mischievously, her expression almost predatory. He had made her ask for him before, though it hadn't been deliberate like this was. For some reason he felt prideful and didn't want to give in until he felt her press herself against him, clearly teasing him until he swore under his breath.

"You," he gasped quietly, his hands squeezing her fleshy hips desperately trying to bring her down to him.

"Ask me nicely," she said. He could feel her, he was so close and he almost sadly pushed himself against her and watched her pull away slightly, a terrible glint her eyes.

"You are enjoying this far too much," he couldn't help but chuckle.

She smiled a half smile. "So what? Come on, humor a girl."

His words were caught in his throat as she pressed herself against him again.

"Fine," he gasped, "please," he said begrudgingly.

"Please what?," she teased, steadying herself on him.

"I need you," he growled, getting more and more frustrated.

"Close enough," she acquiesced. She moaned and closed her eyes at the sensation of him inside of her again.

It was different, and a little hard to navigate at first but eventually she rolled her hips into some sort of slow rhythm.

With one arm he secured her waist against him and with his other he pushed them off the bed into a seated position, maintaining the rhythm she had established between the two of them.

Unlike before, he felt he could hold onto this forever. It wasn't the frenzied, primal race to completion he'd felt the other times. He felt her fingers run lazily over the contours of his back and shoulders gently instead of the way she usually clutched at him leaving scratches. She didn't know exactly what she was doing, but she followed her own path to pleasure and her path happened to align with his.

When they finished this time, it was with groans and bodies pressed flush together, his strong hands pushing down against her hips, anchoring her to him and driving himself as deep as possible. When it was over, their lips met softly, chastely even.

"I love you," she whispered, nestling herself into the crook of his arm and resting her head on his chest.

It was the first time she'd said the words, but it wasn't the first time either of them had felt it from the other. He'd seen it, he'd heard it in the way she said his name, the way she'd protected him and given her life for him. He'd always known.

She could feel her heart thundering in her chest, her entire scope of the world had never been so focused, so fixated upon one thing as it was now.

There would be repercussions.

"When I was imprisoned with the Gravemind," she spoke quietly, her head still resting on his chest, "he said to me, 'For a moment of safety, I loosed damnation on the stars.'"

He continued to listen.

"Is that what we're doing? Are we...are we finding comfort at an unacceptable price?," she whispered fearfully.

He thought about it. It was clear that they didn't care what the consequences were anymore. He didn't care how many died, how much of his honor was left ruined, she was the only thing that had meaning anymore, his love for her already having inadvertently wrought havoc upon countless others.

"Let's pretend that our choices don't matter, just for a little while," he replied evenly. She pulled a blanket over them and sighed.

"Okay." She closed her eyes and fell into a dreamless sleep, his heartbeat the most beautiful lullaby she could've imagined.


	3. III

Kelly stepped onto the suspension ring platform. She and Linda were lucky that they could fit into the Spartan-IV armor assembly ring, John and Fred were too tall and had to have their armor put on manually which took longer and was mildly unpleasant in comparison to the sleek process she and the other Spartans enjoyed.

She was worried about this mission, and she wasn't one to worry.

Her recently acquired knowledge of the Commander and the Chief's relationship was unsettling to say the least. It seemed so unlike him to do something as brash and pointless as fraternization, and that made her wonder if she knew him as well as she thought she did.

It'd been about a week since she and Linda had….overheard them, but today she was determined to stage an intervention with LInda, an enlisted intervention. She felt badly keeping a secret like this from Fred but it was to protect him, he was an Officer and she didn't want him to feel obligated to take action against his superior.

"Thank you," she said to the machine operator. He looked a little surprised at her acknowledgement, he was Navy personnel and probably wasn't used to the Spartan-IVs speaking with him often. She felt like it was a little strange how exclusive the Spartan-IVs could be. They all had prior service experience outside of the Spartan branch, yet they were a little exclusionary to the other services when they felt like it.

But Kelly was a Spartan, the original, born and bred, chosen to defend Earth and her Colonies. It made her feel a surge of pride, and honestly a little bit of superiority. It wasn't that she didn't respect the Spartan-IVs, they were just different than her. She didn't feel like comparing them was really fair.

She walked over to Linda's ring. Linda had her eyes closed, she always closed her eyes when she was being suited up. Linda's armor configuration was more complex, she had a sniper configuration with more tiny moving parts. Kelly's scout armor was made for speed and flexibility.

"Linda," said Kelly, knowing that she was going to piss her teammate off. She kept her eyes closed as she spun backwards, her chestplate being calibrated, "Linda," she said pointedly. The ring spun so she was facing forward and she opened her eyes, glaring at Kelly.

"What," she said, clearly exasperated.

Kelly knew to ignore her prickly exterior, it was just how she was, she'd always been that way since they were children, it didn't mean she didn't care she was just a little...different.

"We agreed, we're talking to the Chief before we go out," she said. She watched Linda sigh exasperatedly.

"If you get him alone I will come with, don't expect me to give some sort of lecture to the Master Chief."

"Trouble on Blue Team?," said a nosy member of Fireteam Olympia in the next station over.

Kelly glanced over at the male Spartan, his brown hair cropped short and his cocky smile creating dimples in his cheeks.

"There's no trouble, but thank-you for your concern," she said politely, clearly mistaking his nosiness for legitimate concern.

The Spartan looked at her like he didn't believe her and chuckled, grabbing himself a Magnum and stowing it.

"Hey, I'm just saying, I don't envy you guys, that's got to be daunting, having the Master Chief on your team," he sauntered over toward her. Kelly was a little confused by his body language.

Kelly shrugged. "Not really, we've known him since he was a little kid, hard to be intimidated by someone you've seen suck their thumb."

"Kelly," Linda reprimanded, though Kelly could tell she didn't really mean it by the slight chuckle in her tone. The Spartan's eyes widened and then he smiled.

"I like you, looking forward to going out with you today, Blue….?" he trailed off, not sure of her callsign, his eyes glancing at her chestplate and insignia for clues.

"Rabbit," she finished for him.

"Rabbit," he repeated, "It's Turner, Olympia three, by the way," she watched him wink as he put on his helmet and jog towards his fireteam.

Linda scoffed.

"The hell was that?"

"What was what?" Kelly asked.

They walked together to where she knew John would be finishing his preparations. Linda was inspecting her sniper rifle without even looking at it, the whole thing was muscle memory for her.

"And I thought I was the socially inept one on Blue team," she murmured.

Kelly ignored her and approached the Chief.

"Chief, could we have a word with you quick before we go out?"

He adjusted something on his vambraces manually, clearly annoyed with how it had been calibrated.

"Is it urgent?,"

"No-"

"Yes-"

Kelly glared at Linda and John looked at them both oddly.

Without a word he walked towards an unoccupied briefing room off of the armor bay and they followed.

"What is it?," he asked while doing his initial diagnostics on his suit.

Kelly hadn't imagined how this part would go. She didn't really know what to say. Linda stood there, completely unhelpful like she had promised.

She could tell that John was getting slightly impatient.

"Commander wants us ready to board Pelicans in fifteen," he said checking his comm channel.

"We know about you and the Commander!," Kelly blurted.

She watched the Chief turn and look at her, cool as always, "What is there to know about myself and the Commander?"

Kelly looked down at her feet, blushing as she remembered….overhearing them.

Linda groaned. "We know that you are fraternizing," she finished.

The Chief still looked impassively at the two of them. "What would give you that idea?"

Linda was impressed at the shade of purple Kelly was now turning.

"We heard you both about a week and a half ago," Linda continued. The Chief raised an eyebrow.

"We heard you," repeated Linda. She glimpsed a flash of understanding from him.

"It's none of your concern," he said quickly.

"Yes it is John," said Kelly tersely, she glanced behind her, "you're going to get ninja punched into the next century!," she hissed.

John stopped fiddling with his comm system.

"Ninja punched?," he asked incredulously. Linda ran a hand over her face exasperatedly.

"She's spent too much time in the Fleet," Linda explained. The way she said Fleet made it sound like she was talking about vermin or at least something particularly unpleasant, "she means nonjudicial punishment or NJP'd, not mentioning the fact that this is inappropriate, it completely subverts good order and discipline," she said firmly.

"It's not a problem in that regard," he said.

"Yes it is, whether you want to believe it or not. How is she supposed to send you into combat? How is she supposed to maintain rational judgement when it comes to your safety? That's just one example of the many problems this situation presents," reasoned Linda.

"She doesn't have a problem with that. She knows I won't be harmed."

Linda rolled her eyes. "You don't know if you'll be harmed, that's ridiculous."

"If it bothers you, report it through the chain of command," he said stiffly.

They were both silent, eyes wide.

"You know we wouldn't do that," said Kelly quietly.

It was true. When it came to their loyalties, it was always going to be Spartans first, even if it was something like this.

"That means you trust me. Trust me when I say that this doesn't affect the mission and it doesn't affect you," he loaded his weapon.

He glanced at their concerned expressions. Linda looked frustrated but mostly concerned, Kelly just seemed a little confused.

"Look, she and I," he didn't know what to say to them exactly, but he wanted to reassure them, "we go back, back to before she was commissioned and...it's complicated."

"How can you go back when we don't even know her?," asked Kelly.

He sighed. "After Reach we were separated for seven years. A lot can happen in seven years," he put on his helmet and started running his suit diagnostic.

Kelly felt a little hurt at the implication that they no longer knew each other but she pushed it aside.

"You're right that we trust you. Don't forget that trust," said Linda sternly. Trust was a responsibility, trust needed to be tended to and it was something she didn't offer freely, so she expected him to give a damn. She put on her helmet.

"Let's go kill some stuff," she said lightly.

John smiled.

"Far more interesting than my personal life," he agreed, leading them out of the briefing room and to the Pelican bays.

Kelly hadn't seen shit hit the fan like this in a while.

What should have been a routine reconnaissance mission had turned into a full on firefight.

"Hawk, on your six!," she said glancing a few hundred feet behind Linda while she set up for a shot on a high ranking Elite. Kelly zoomed in and popped the jackal sniper in the head, "I've got you covered, take your shot so I can clear the area," she said.

"Affirmative," said Linda distantly. Kelly and Fred both knew that tone well, that was her zen mode. Neither of them were bad shots, but Linda was nothing short of freakish with how well she shot.

"Blue Rabbit, I've got new info. Olympia was ambushed, they need assistance immediately. Rabbit and Chief, go to their aid, Hawk and Havoc, clear this area out. Once you've finished that rally at these coordinates, Commander out." She tagged coordinates where Olympia was under fire.

"Roger that, Rabbit out, Chief race you there," she said cockily. She started sprinting in the direction of Fireteam Olympia, her feet moving so quickly that the gravel sprayed every which way beneath her armor clad feet. She loved this. She lived for this.

She sprinted up a hill and hunched down to assess the situation.

"Looks like Elite splinter groups of varying ranks along with Grunts and Jackals, no Brutes, Chief," she said.

She was almost out of ammo in her battle rifle and glanced at an Elite corpse not far from her.

It must be my birthday.

She picked up the sword and felt goosebumps when the plasma blades erupted out of the handle, the blade humming in her hand.

"Kelly you sure that's the best option?"

"Oh I'm sure, watch me Chief, you can sit this one out," she looked at Olympia down there engaged three to one by Covenant. She shivered at the adrenaline rush she was feeling.

When she started moving, they didn't stand a chance. Not only were they shocked by her sudden appearance, she could tell they were simply stunned by her speed. They always were.

She and John worked together seamlessly. He understood her, he knew how she fought in a way that could never be taught, only learned from observation and years of experience. The sound of the sword when she swung it was unlike anything she'd ever heard before, she found it strangely beautiful. She wove herself around the other Spartans, killing whatever stood in her way.

She was fast. No, she was faster than fast. She made quick work of the Elites with her sword, watching the anger at her blasphemous use of their most sacred weapon only delighted her.

She lost count of how many she'd killed, but she saw another Spartan battling it out with the last Elite–he was losing, on the ground and about to be killed.

_I need to make it._

She sprinted as fast as she could, her arms pumping at her sides and with a mighty cry she crouched down and thrust the blade upwards into the back of the Elite right before he could deliver the final blow. She pulled the blade upward in a continuous motion, the Elite splitting in half from the waist up, collapsing to the ground.

She took a moment to feel her heart thundering in her chest, to feel the adrenaline and excitement of the moment.

"Area is cleared, Linda, Fred, what's your status?," she heard John speak over the comm channel.

"We've cleared an LZ, hostiles are neutralized," she heard Fred speak calmly.

She looked down at the Spartan that had nearly died, his visor was shattered and he looked, for lack of a better term, pretty fucked up.

She knelt down next to him.

"Spartan, are you okay?," she asked, taking off his helmet to inspect him for head injury.

It was the cocky Spartan from before.

"Please state your name and rank," she said.

"Sergeant Jake Turner," he slurred.

"Follow my fingertip with your eyes, please," she said calmly, moving it from side to side slowly. She watched one of his eyes follow but the other lag, his pupils were also different sizes.

"He's got a concussion, we should get him back as quickly as we can to assess for other head trauma," she said calmly. She reached under his arm.

"I'm going to help you up, lean on me and try to walk." When she tried to help him up he stumbled and nearly fell over. She sighed and hefted him over her shoulder.

"Chief, help me," she groaned. A Spartan in armor was still pretty heavy for her to carry for a while if he wasn't helping at all.

The leader of Olympia called for the Pelican and they were inbound back to Lightbringer.

Fireteam Olympia looked worse for the wear, she could tell a few were critically wounded.

"Thanks for the help back there, we would've been a lot worse off," said the fireteam leader of Olympia. Kelly took off her helmet, tucking a loose piece of hair behind her ear.

"Of course," said John calmly.

"That was the most amazing thing I've ever seen, I've never seen someone use an energy sword like that," said one of the females on Olympia.

Kelly smiled, obviously feeling a little smug. She knew that she was great with those things.

John chuckled lowly, causing everyone in the Pelican to stare awkwardly. They'd never imagined the Master Chief could laugh.

"Don't compliment her too much, her head will get too big for her helmet," he said snarkily.

Kelly glared. "Don't be jealous John it doesn't suit you."

He shook his head. She could tell he was laughing to himself. The other Spartans looked visibly surprised at her use of his name. Even Linda and Fred seldom said it, but it just felt right to her.

Turner groaned.

"Ugh, what the hell happened?"

"Hey he's awake!," laughed one of his teammates.

"You practically had your head stomped on by a split-lip before she came. You owe her a drink or two, she saved your ass and looked doing it!"

She smiled softly.

Turner shook his head a few times. "I'll be ready to go out for leave tonight, I've had hangovers worse than this." Olympia all laughed.

The Pelican docked and Kelly went with John, Fred and Linda for a debrief. The commander sat at a table, looking at a complex series of charts.

"Lieutenant," she addressed Fred, "could I get your after action?"

She always addressed Fred for this kind of thing despite the fact that John was the one more in charge. It was just how things were.

Now that Kelly knew about the relationship between the Commander and the Chief, she couldn't help but feel curious about it. She had never desired that kind of companionship, and she hadn't thought John did either. She wondered what could've possibly happened to change that.

Kelly couldn't focus the whole time she was getting out of her armor. She was quiet and didn't speak to the technician helping her like she usually did.

The ship would be docking temporarily tonight for maintenance before heading back to Earth.

Her room was sparse. She didn't have pictures to remind her of home. She didn't have a home. She didn't have a boyfriend, she didn't have a mother or father...these things had never bothered her. She'd seen people look at a picture of a loved one right before deploying to a planet surface, even kissing a photo or holding a token that reminded them of someone back at their home. She'd never understood why people did this.

She sat down on her bed and rested her head on her pillow.

Does John have a picture of the Commander that he looks at at night? Does he think about her before he gets shot at?

Someone was knocking on her cabin door.

"Proceed," she said lightly, still staring up at the ceiling. Only three people ever came to her room, Fred, Linda or John, thought it was more often than not Fred wanting to say hi as Linda and John weren't particularly social.

So she was surprised to see Turner in her doorway. She quickly sat up. For some reason she felt like it was weird for him to see her laying on her bed.

"Sergeant Turner, what can I do for you?," she asked calmly.

"So uh, thanks for saving my ass back there," he said leaning casually in her door, "I've never been in a spot that tight since becoming a Spartan and I mean," he exhaled sharply and shook his head.

"Of course, I would expect you would do the same for me should the situation have been reversed."

"Well yeah but I mean...I've never even seen someone move like that," he said.

Kelly shrugged. "I know, I'm the fastest there is."

He snorted. "Someone's not very humble."

"It's not about being humble, it's fact. There are plenty of things I'm not the best at, but being fast is the thing I can do better than anyone."

He had never heard someone talk like that. So self-assured yet so clinical. It was exceedingly bizarre.

"Well, Fireteam Olympia is going out tonight to celebrate, and you're invited, I owe you a drink or two," he said casually.

Kelly had never been invited out before. She'd only had alcohol once at a Squadron party she'd been forced to attend once. It was just something she'd never done.

"At least consider it," he said over his shoulder as he left the room.

She was left feeling confused.

She put on a pair of shorts and a Navy tshirt. She didn't have any other clothes besides a military uniform. She slipped on a pair of sandals she used for showering and glanced at herself in the mirror.

_Do I look normal?_

She looked at her hair, pulled back tightly into a sock bun. She pulled it loose and shook her hair. The sock bun had curled it into loose waves.

Satisfied that she looked a little better, she went to the Commander's door to ask her for permission to take leave.

She rapped on the door and heard rustling.

The Commander was dressed in civilian clothes. Kelly couldn't help but notice John sitting in the living room without a shirt reading something.

_Now that we know they really could care less._

"What can I do for you?," she asked comfortably.

Kelly couldn't shake the feeling that The Commander was distinctly civilian in mannerisms and conduct.

"I wanted to request permission to take shore liberty with Fireteam Olympia, ma'am."

The Commander pulled up something on her datapad.

"Sure, I've got good numbers for the evening, I can spare you, force protection posture is low anyways. Where are you going?"

Kelly shifted her weight awkwardly.

"I'm not really sure." Kelly didn't know where people went when they were on liberty, she'd never gone before.

"I'll message one of them and see," she said calmly. She quickly ran through the liberty briefing, speaking so quickly Kelly had a difficult time understanding her, she clearly didn't care much about it.

"Have fun, if you need anything, just call," she smiled warmly and closed her door.

_Civilian. She's definitely a civilian._

John raised an eyebrow.

"What's got you bothered?," she asked, taking the magazine out of his hand and sitting herself on his lap.

He wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I can't place it."

"Want me to have a go at it?," she asked.

She usually understood him better than he did, so he nodded stiffly.

"You think it's weird Kelly wants to go out and get drunk with a bunch of Spartan-IVs. You didn't expect that of her and because you've known her for so long you find it unsettling. You're also a little confused because I don't think anyone could pay you to go out on liberty with Spartan-IVs," she said leaning back against his chest.

"I think that's an accurate assessment."

She smiled and put her hands over his.

"It'll be okay," was all she said.

He didn't understand how when she said something like that, he just knew that she was right. It was all he ever really needed.

"Hey look it's Spartan Blue!," hollered a female from Olympia. Kelly had been watching them joke around prior to approaching them; she felt extremely awkward but didn't know how to interrupt a conversation.

"Didn't think you'd show."

Kelly glanced over at Sergeant Turner and noted his relaxed posture along with the way his eyes glanced her up and down quickly.

Kelly shrugged.

"We gotta show her a good time, the bar at the hotel we're staying at is supposed to be fucking awesome," said a curvy blonde female with short hair.

"Well lead the way then Tracer," said another Spartan.

They took what was dubbed a "Liberty Pelican" down to the planet surface and quickly thereafter to the bar that Tracer had spoken of.

Kelly found herself somewhat overwhelmed–the room was dimly lit and there was music with heavy bass playing and lights flashing over a dance floor with crowds of people...she couldn't call what they were doing dancing, it looked more like they were all trying move against each other with as little space between them and their partner as humanly possible.

_What have I gotten myself into?_

"Round of Spartan shots for Spartan Olympia, the biggest, baddest and best!," shouted Tracer to the bartender.

"Spartan shots?," Kelly couldn't help but ask.

"Yeah, we rotate through here a lot, the shots have a ton of this alcohol that isn't as easily metabolized because a lot of other shit burns off too quickly because of our altered metabolic rate, don't you have the same problem?," Turner asked, offering her the shot.

She'd never drank before, so she didn't really know.

"I think that must be a new procedure," she said, looking warily at the pungent smelling glass of alcohol.

Turner shrugged.

"Alright Olympia, to a good night, and to this fine woman over here who saved my ass," he raised his glass and Kelly felt herself flush with embarrassment.

"I say she buys the next round as a penalty," shouted a dark-skinned male Spartan she recognized as a Sergeant named Hakim.

"Shut the fuck up Hakim," Tracer punched him on the shoulder and laughed.

Kelly had never tasted anything that burned quite like this. She gulped down the burning liquid and started coughing.

"Woah shit, here's some water," laughed Turner, "Haven't drank in a while?"

She shook her head. "Spartan Blue doesn't really go out," she deflected.

"Well we'll sort you out soon enough," Kelly felt a hand on her shoulder and glanced over at Turner's dimply smile. They all sat down at the bar.

A few shots later, Kelly could feel her head spinning and her whole body felt warm and tingly. She also found herself laughing at jokes she normally wouldn't have even smiled at.

"Shots for Kelly and her badass skills with an energy sword!," shouted Turner, the rest of the fireteam cheering.

"Sergeant Turner, I–"

"Why the hell you calling me Sergeant off duty? First name's Jake," he winked and Kelly felt something strange, similar to the feeling she felt when jumping out of a pelican or when an aircraft lost altitude quickly.

"It's just strange."

"You call the Chief by his first name," he said taking a swig of his mixed drink.

_I suppose I do._

"It's...different," she took a sip of her drink.

"What, is he your boyfriend or something?," he teased.

Kelly snorted and sprayed her drink out her nose.

"Shit," she coughed and wiped her nose while all of Olympia started laughing.

"Oh she's embarrassed," teased Hakim, his voice slightly accented and awkwardly cadenced.

Kelly shook her head and took a sip of water.

"No, no absolutely not, John isn't my…" she couldn't even bring herself to say the word boyfriend, it was too humiliating for her, "He's like my brother, we were kids together," she took another drink just at the thought of being...intimate with John, of all people, it was just somehow sickening. She finished her drink and sighed, "besides, he's with someone else," she added offhandedly.

"What!?," yelled the group collectively. Kelly immediately regretted her indiscretion.

"You have to tell us, who's he nailing?," asked Tracer, leaning on the bar counter, "Hey, 'nother round please," she slurred and tapped her data chip on the counter quickly.

Kelly rubbed her temples. She couldn't think clearly, her words ran together and she was blurting things she didn't really mean to.

"I can't say, he'd kill me," she said, glancing warily at the shot glass in front of her.

"Drink!," shouted Hakim.

These get easier the more I have.

"Tell us," nudged Tracer.

Kelly shook her head.

"Well, deductive reasoning," Rucker, a female Spartan with mousy brown hair leaned in, "would say that it's someone he could get in trouble for fucking, is it that red haired female on your team?"

"God no, Linda would probably shoot anyone who even tried to make a pass at her," said Kelly shortly.

"Noted," said Hakim a little sarcastically.

"Alright sooooo….assuming he's not gay, which would be a little surprising to me since I usually have a good sense for that kind of thing, that leaves either random lower enlisted or officers. Considering I never see you all paling around with random folks, it has to be…" she trailed off as the group collectively realized who that that left.

"Holy shit, he's fucking your Commander isn't he?!," laughed Turner heartily. Kelly buried her face in her hand and flagged the bar tender.

"Another shot please," she groaned.

"I would've never guessed," said Hakim quietly.

"I didn't say that he was," protested Kelly.

They all laughed.

"May as well have with the look on your face right now," chuckled Tracer ordering another round.

Kelly knocked back the shot quickly with the group.

"How the hell does that work, she's really...short," said Hakim, genuinely curious. Kelly thought she was going to die of embarrassment.

"I mean, that's not a problem if you're creative, besides, she has great tits," said Tracer offhandedly.

"Tracer I didn't know you were into ladies," said Turner.

"Eh, not really but doesn't mean I can't appreciate a nice wrack."

"God I'm the worst friend in the world," murmured Kelly. She felt like she might cry from shame, she couldn't even keep her mouth shut for the man who was perhaps her best friend.

"Oh come on Kelly, we won't tell anyone, promise! Besides, he wouldn't be the first to get some Officer tail, it's really not that big of a deal as long as they don't fuck anything up too bad," said Hakim lightly.

Turner smirked, "besides, I think he could accidentally destroy a Navy fleet of Halcyon warships and command would turn the other cheek, he's kind of a god," he said flippantly.

Kelly sighed. He was probably right, John was the Master Chief, after all, and the Commander didn't seem like a normal woman either, though Kelly couldn't really place what it was about her that was off.

"Ooh, I love this song," Tracer slurred, she pulled Hakim away towards the dance floor and Rucker followed them, laughing and stumbling.

Leaving her and Turner. She couldn't shake the warm, almost nauseous feeling tugging right behind her belly button when she looked over at him. It was annoying her.

"Promise you won't say anything about John and the Commander," she said forlornly.

"Don't mention it," he said, putting his hand over her's on the countertop and leaning towards her. He was closer to her and she could see his thick black eyelashes and the dark stubble that had started to grow after his morning shave.

She smiled at him and nodded.

"Want to dance?," he asked lowly. She blushed again.

"I don't know how," she said.

"That doesn't answer my question, I asked if you wanted to dance," he said smartly.

She was surprised at the overwhelming feeling, the overwhelming desire to go dance with him. She felt bothered that she couldn't place what about him was making her feel this oddly. It was uncomfortable and a large part of her wanted it to stop, stop right now.

The other part of her was drunk.

All she could do was nod, she couldn't bring herself to say the word yes.

He laced his fingers with hers and led her towards the dance floor.

The dance floor was filled with sweat and what she could only describe as adrenaline. The music playing had an overwhelming beat she could feel deep in her chest.

She glanced up at him–which was uncommon for her, the only people she was used to looking up to were John and Fred.

"Relax," he said over the music. She felt him put his hands on her waist and pull her close to him.

There it was again, that feeling she'd been fighting all night. She felt him move his hips against her's and she was surprised to find herself moving her hips in time with the music. She didn't know how many songs they'd danced to, but she felt the last few drinks start to catch up with her and her inhibitions dissolve almost entirely, leaving behind Kelly who not only knew how to dance, but Kelly who liked dancing and really liked Jake Turner. She did whatever she felt, from running her hands over his defined arms to whipping her long hair out of her way and rolling her body up against his in a way that could only be described as desperate. Kelly had little experience with desperation, at least this kind of desperation, but she didn't think she wanted it to end anytime soon.

Alcohol is a helluva drug.

She could smell him and soon his hands had drifted down from her waist to her hips. He leaned close to her ear, she could feel as much as she heard his breath on her neck and for some reason that she didn't fully understand it made her feel that same exact swooping sensation from before, this time goose bumps making their way up her arms this time.

"You know that you're really sexy, right?," he asked huskily.

She laughed.

"I mean it," he murmured, "when I saw you run and drop five Elites in the span of a minute," he ran a hand over her ass and she gasped, "I'd never seen something so fucking hot."

She exhaled shakily.

"Say something or I'm gonna feel like a moron," he chuckled nervously.

"I don't know what to say, no one's said anything like that to me before," she sputtered.

"I don't believe you."

"Believe me or not, it's true," she said. Before she knew what was happening, his mouth was on hers and his hands were in her hair, and somehow she was kissing him back, her arms around his neck and her body grinding against his in time with the music still playing.

_Oh. That's what I've been feeling all night._

She felt like she was falling out of the sky and running into a firefight simultaneously. She could hear her own heart pounding over the loud music.

He broke away from her mouth and started kissing her neck.

"Upstairs?," he asked breathlessly. She found herself quickly nodding yes.

She didn't care how many people they passed as they somehow made their way up to the block of rooms in the hotel above the bar Olympia had rented for the night of leave.

He fumbled with the door and opened it, slamming it shut when he pushed her up against it. She groaned when he put his leg between her legs, rubbing up against her in a way that was unlike anything she'd ever experienced.

She'd never felt this...desire, before. She didn't know if it was the alcohol or the fact that she found him attractive, perhaps both of those things, but all she knew was she was quickly losing any sense she normally had.

He took off his shirt and she looked appreciatively at his muscled torso. He had a tattoo wrapping around his right bicep she hadn't been able to see before, which she found oddly attractive. He looked at her and she knew that he wanted her to take her shirt off.

_You know how to take clothes off, you do this every night._

She still felt nervous despite being drunk. She'd never done this before, didn't even know what she was doing, really, but she knew that it felt right in a way that she hadn't felt in a long time, if ever.

She took her shirt off, tossed it aside and reached behind her back to unclasp her bra, throwing it by her discarded shirt.

She was on her back and on the bed more quickly than she could follow. She was drunk, yes, but she could tell he was also fast, though probably not as fast as she was. Still, she was impressed.

He kissed down her throat slowly, letting his tongue linger wherever he pleased. She gasped and gripped his shoulder when he tongued and kissed her breast.

"Fuck," he murmured, pulling his pants off so he was only in his underwear. She pushed up against his groin and heard him swear again. He pulled down her shorts and underwear in one motion, leaving her completely naked though she didn't really mind.

She pulled down his boxers and tried not to look too curiously at his hardness–for some reason she didn't want her inexperience to show. He kissed her again, this time his hand moved down between them and she felt him start touching her.

She remembered this–before her Spartan augmentation procedures, she had touched herself like this in the middle of the night secretly. The desire then disappeared shortly after the surgeries, but she hadn't been sure if it had been because of something they'd done to her or because she'd been regularly watching all of her brothers and sisters die for decades. Perhaps it was a combination of the two, but somehow she felt her body remember this, remember this raw, intense, almost animal feeling. It wasn't dissimilar from the tunnel vision she felt right before a kill, or how she felt when she sprinted in a firefight. Except it was him and his hands instead of bullets and fire eliciting this response, this swirling, spiraling feeling gathering low in her stomach.

She wasn't sure if it had been a few minutes or an hour, but she found herself gripping the sheets and squeezing her legs tightly around him as she felt what was the greatest release of tension she had ever felt flood her body.

She moaned loudly and pressed her finger tips into his shoulder blades. It was euphoria and every wonderful feeling she'd ever felt in a single moment. It was so wonderful it was almost painful, but she would welcome whatever pain it was over and over again. He kissed her roughly, his teeth bumping up against hers.

"Kelly, is it, are you," he asked incoherently.

"Yes," she said breathlessly. Somehow she understood what she was consenting to was something of a momentous occasion in one's life.

_What better time than someone I'm clearly attracted to who's also attracted to me?_

She was surprised at her ability to reason logically despite being drunk.

He thrust into her easily. Kelly was surprised at how different it was from before, it was still pleasurable but overall less intensity than when he'd used his hands.

He moved slowly at first. She wanted to feel her body against his again so she sat up quickly and pressed her breasts against his chest. She wrapped her arms around him, looking into his eyes.

She admired the intensity he had. There was no point in doing anything if you didn't do it with a sense of intensity, coupled with passion it was a formidable combination.

She felt him bite on her neck and suck in a way that would clearly leave a mark. Somehow she didn't mind and even found the gesture exciting. He kissed his way up her jawline and to her mouth and pulled at her hair. The feeling was amazing, she moaned into his mouth as he thrusted into her harder, his teeth pulling at her bottom lip and other hand groping at her breasts.

He moaned her name loudly with conviction she was sure could only be applied to this context of bodies and lust and fire.

Somehow they rolled under the covers of the bed.

"You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," he murmured against her mouth between kisses. She felt exhaustion hit her like a wave, her hands still moving over the hard planes of his shoulders and back.

"You're not bad yourself," she said quietly. They laid like that, in the darkness until they both fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo I promise Kelly/OC plot won't be a continuous thing, but that being said, this story really is mostly a collection of Halo smut loosely linked with plot. Lol. Hope you enjoyed. I'm deployed and really sexually frustrated because America, so you guys get fanfiction I guess. Lol. Please review!


	4. IV

_"Fuck,"_ she moaned.

He couldn't help but smile as he bit opened mouthed kisses on her neck. He felt extreme satisfaction when he got her to make sounds like that, when she started to fray at the ends from his ministrations. He had to work for it, but it almost always paid off.

Sex had never been something he'd wanted. It was strange how now he couldn't stop thinking about it. Her body captivated him, but it wasn't only that. Since Requiem, some had changed. He didn't understand it but he found himself lacking restraint and even worse, not caring in the slightest.

He was still a Spartan though, and her body was just another challenge to rise to, another skill to learn, and most importantly, another secret for him to keep.

The way her full lips parted when she moaned, her fingernails biting into his shoulders and how she swore under her breath, demanding that he hurry it up and fuck her would be the secrets he treasured most, and secrets he'd kill anyone if they found them out. They were his secrets, no one else's.

He grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head as she pressed her head back into the pillow and laughed low in her throat.

_I love her voice._

It was so sultry and low but still distinctly feminine. She could say or do anything, even something mundane like, 'LT, whats your SITREP?' and it'd make him hard if she said it the right way. It made work miserable sometimes.

He couldn't help but smirk when she pressed her hips up against his.

"What're you waiting for Chief, didn't know you were one to keep a girl waiting," she said lowly. He felt her struggle against his grip on her wrists. Curious, he let one of her arms go and watched as she brought her hand down to her breast and rolled her nipple between her index finger and thumb, her eyes fluttering shut briefly then opening again, this time making eye contact with him.

Sometimes he swore that if she wanted to she'd be able to finish him with her gaze alone. He may have been the stronger one physically, but her gaze was powerful. She could command him to do anything with those eyes, the deep, dark, indigo-violet shade was the only inhuman thing about her–he'd never seen a human with eyes that exact shade.

He did what she asked and groaned at the sensation. He didn't understand how someone could be so damn warm and how warmth could feel so damn good.

She bit her bottom lip and let her free hand smooth over his chest. This reminded him that it was free, so he grabbed the wrist and put it back above her head with her other arm.

He leaned down to her ear.

"You do treacherous things with those hands when I don't hold them up here," he teased, keeping his thrusts at an even pace.

She chuckled lowly.

"I've always been clever," she teased, struggling.

He held her down more firmly.

"You know squirming like that is pointless," he said, pushing into her a little harder, making her gasp and filling him with pride. "You like how you can't get free, don't you?," he teased.

"I know it's hard for you to use your brain when all of your blood is in your cock, but could you please just get back to fucking me through this mattress instead of making conversation?," she growled, arching off of the bed impatiently.

Watching the way her face would contort in pleasure when she came and how she'd breathily sigh his name was perhaps the only truly beautiful thing he'd ever witnessed. He didn't know how something so beautiful, so perfect had become his. She was wasted upon him, wasted on a man who'd never wanted this, who couldn't express his undying devotion freely. But for better or worse she was his and he'd never let her go. The way her pleasure would grip him harder always undid him, he thrust through his own completion until he collapsed on top of her, completely spent.

He let go of her hands and she felt the blood rush back into her hands. He had been right, she did like it when he held her down and grabbed her. Something about the fact that he could crush her if he wanted to was absolutely thrilling to her. He had so much raw power that every time they fucked it made her feel like she was taming some kind of beast or fighting a glorious battle. His light blue eyes always looked upon her with a fierceness she never saw outside of their lovemaking–it was only for her, never for anyone else. Despite his strength, he was hers and hers alone. Only she could have him, he only wanted her. That in and of itself brought her more pleasure than she could describe.

He rolled off of her and caught his breath quickly. He had wonderful stamina, but even he got worked up and experienced exertion.

They'd been doing this for about two months now. After their huge fight, they hadn't gone a single evening without each other. She'd even tried when work was stressful to stay away, but that just made it worse. When she was having a hard time focusing, be it paperwork or the frustrating limitations of human form, nothing quite cleared her mind like him between her thighs. As much as he hated it, she knew he felt exactly the same. He could be exhausted and still he'd come to her, eager to love her in whatever way she wanted that particular evening.

Her data pad buzzed and she groaned.

She sat up and grabbed the pad, her feet hanging off the edge of her bed.

John loved looking at her backside. He was always amazed at how distracting he found her, even in uniform. Something about her tight fitting pants...it was even better when she was naked. He heard her groan.

"I've just been notified you guys are doing exercise all week with the IVs."

He sat up and rested his chin on her shoulder and put his arm around her waist.

"So?"

She frowned. "So, that means less time for this," she reached for his still hard cock and rubbed him quick up and down. Even though he'd just came he couldn't help but shudder at the sensation, even though she stopped quickly.

"We can find time," he kissed her where her neck and shoulder met, letting his tongue linger slightly on her skin.

"Yeah, but I don't get to boss you around all week like I normally do, I have to pretend to actually be a legitimate officer in the UNSC," she whined.

"I know you hate actually doing your job," he said flatly. She rolled her eyes.

"I don't hate my job, I just have to actually follow rules which can be a bit of a drag sometimes, and besides," she traced circles on his chest with her index finger, "officers just aren't as much fun to work with as you are," she chuckled and kissed him on the cheek. She hopped off the bed and walked towards her bathroom, her hips swaying in a slightly exaggerated fashion that he found hypnotic.

"Wanna take a shower with me?," she said coyly glancing over her shoulder. He got up and more quickly than she could really understand he scooped her up in his arms and strode into the bathroom. She giggled at his enthusiasm and wrapped her arms around his neck.

The water was hot like they both liked. She spent plenty of time kissing where she could reach on him, but more than anything she just liked to touch him. She knew it was obvious that he was fit, and she felt almost silly about how much she enjoyed his body. She'd seen sculptures, movie stars, athletes...no one really compared to him. She loved how the water ran down his chest and abs, all the way down to the 'V' of his hipbones. It wasn't even necessarily sexual, she just couldn't help but admire the beauty in his form.

She laughed as he washed her hair–she could tell he found it amusing how much shorter she was than him. She wasn't a tall woman and he was well over a foot taller than she was. He massaged her back as he lathered the soap on it and she couldn't help but groan.

"That feels so good, when you retire you could become a masseuse," she moaned.

He made a noise low in his throat that was more of a rumble than a laugh.

"What's retirement?," he joked.

After they dried off, he rubbed her shoulders until she was on the edge of sleep. They put on their pajamas and she wanted to beg him to stay the night, but with work tomorrow–exercises for him and commanders briefing for her–they both knew it wasn't wise.

"Hey, Roland, are we all clear for Chief to go back to his quarters?," she asked boldly.

She and Roland had an understanding. He let her have a certain degree of privacy and helped her be shady whenever she needed it, and she never asked him to do anything that would've made her groan as an AI.

"He's good if he takes the long way, no people would be able to tell he was coming back from your place to Spartan Land," he said over the audio system in her room.

John put on his PT gear again and kissed her on the crown of her forehead.

"I love you," she said softly. He ran a hand gently through her hair.

"I'll message you tomorrow."

She watched the door slide shut behind him and sighed.

"Feeling down, Cortana?," she heard Roland say.

She groaned. "Can't you make fun of the Captain or something? You're kinda his AI after all."

"Oh Cortana, you know that's not how this works," he chuckled. He was right, he could very easily be monitoring the ship, talking to countless others and teasing her without it remotely straining his systems. She smiled softly.

"I know, I know, I'm just feeling bashful."

"Well, you managed to defy the laws of God and Man and you are the Master Chief's paramour so I'm not sure what kind of shame there is to feel. Whole ship has kind of gathered the whole thing, one of your Spartans got drunk and told fireteam Olympia and now it's kind of one of those situations where it's a not-so-secret-secret," he said smartly.

Cortana sighed. She had had a vague idea that this had happened, just from a few of the knowing looks and odd comments she'd received over the past few months, but this confirmed it.

"You want my advice?," he asked.

"You're gonna give it anyways," she said wearily.

He chuckled. "You know me so well. Find something else for people to gossip about, something higher profile and a little weirder. I could leak something about Lasky and Palmer fucking to the right person if you'd like," he said snarkily.

Cortana gasped.

"No way, how long has this been a thing?"

Roland laughed again. She could tell he loved knowing everything and was definitely more gossipy than she'd been. It must sort of come with the whole shipboard AI thing–with John there hadn't been a ton of gossip to follow, at least when she was so busy keeping him from dying.

"Long enough to be a thing."

"You'd do that?," asked Cortana incredulously. Lasky was the Captain of Infinity.

"Nothing to end a career or change orders, just enough to shift some of the gossip from you to them, besides, Admiral Osman already knows, higher ups already have an idea about the situation, if there was a huge problem with them it'd be readily apparent, one of them would've been cut orders by now," she heard him sigh which Cortana couldn't help but find amusing. Roland didn't need to breath, it was simply an effect of being derived from a human.

Even though he didn't say it, she knew he had a soft spot for her. She felt a slight amount of relief. Most AIs took great pride in what they were, in being composed of pure thought and wanting to be human was very often thought of as a downgrade, which, in some ways, it very much was. Without John, she would've rather just been decommissioned.

But John was everything. No, she had had everything, he was more than everything, he was her's.

"Sleep tight, Commander," and with that she knew Roland wasn't minding her room anymore.

She tucked herself into her lonely bed. She wished that John could sleep by her. The few days that they'd taken shore leave and she'd been able to fall asleep and wake up in his arms had been absolute bliss for her. Now she was lucky if they got to have the occasional nap together. Still she could remember his touch, the weight of his arms and the feeling of his lips from earlier still on her flesh.

_I can still feel him if I try._

She'd spent so long imaging what his touch would feel like on her imagined body, and those thoughts had never fully been able to compare. Now that she had very real memories of it though, she could get by.

She closed her eyes.

_Goodnight, John._

* * *

Kelly was acting strange this morning.

_Well, stranger than usual, anyway._

Linda watched as Kelly checked her armor for discrepancies that simply weren't there as they suited up for their wargames this week. It was a long training exercise. Linda was relatively indifferent to this type of thing, not really caring what she did or did not participate in.

Kelly, however, was usually elated at the notion of showing off in front of the Spartan–IVs. She could outrun all of them quite easily and she loved to win. Last time the Spartan–IVs had done an exercise, Blue Team hadn't participated because they didn't have experience with how the IVs ran things and they'd been busy getting reaquainted with one another.

That's why Linda was confused.

_Kelly should be bouncing around like the happy little bunny rabbit she normally is at the prospect of this._

Instead she was fidgeting and glancing around awkwardly, as if she'd been expecting someone to come up and grab her from behind.

Linda couldn't be bothered to speak up about it, but she took notice all the same.

"Hey Blue Team," said Fred, addressing the three of them. He was always so laid back, so relaxed. Personally, Linda found John's leadership, that is, firm, concise, and direct, far more preferable to Fred's almost democratic approach, but John didn't want to be an officer and Fred had the brass so he was in charge of Blue. Fred almost always let John take the lead despite this and John gave Fred all of the respect he was due as a commissioned officer. It was a strange dynamic but it functioned.

"Have you picked the configurations you want?"

"Was there anything in particular you had in mind?," asked John gruffly. He seemed surlier than usual this morning.

_The hell is up with Blue Team today?_

"Oh, no," said Fred shortly, "I was just curious. We've got to show these IVs how it's done though," he grabbed a magnum and loaded a clip of stun rounds.

Linda smirked. "I'm sure they're all shaking in their armor thinking about it as it is."

_Let them be afraid. They should be afraid of us. We're not some cheap knock-offs._

Linda couldn't help but feel resentment towards the Spartan–IVs. She found it somewhat offensive that they shared her title,–Spartan. She'd seen them act like childish morons. Sure, they were strong and fast, but they could be loud, crass, and rather petty. She respected their functionality and understood that, strategically speaking, Spartan–IIs simply didn't make sense to create. They couldn't be trained quickly enough and even Linda had to admit, the augmentation procedures that the IVs had were superb, comparable if not equal to her own and with a far lower mortality rate.

_Fhajad-084. Soren-066. Serin-019. Kimberly-073. Cassandra-075. Rene-081. Ralph-103. Musa-096. Kirk-018._

All of them either dead or discharged after the augmentation procedures. Sure, Serin and Musa had gone on to do great things despite suffering, Serin serving as Commander in Chief of ONI and Musa as the leader of the Spartan military branch, but Soren, Kirk, Cassandra….she remembered seeing Cassandra vomiting blood in the recovery bed next to her, listening to her trying not to cry out as her muscles rebelled against her body and her eyes swelled out of her head.

No, Linda viewed it as a duty of hers to not forget them. When she looked at the Spartan-IVs and saw their relatively happy existence, she found it difficult to view them as brothers and sisters. Sure, they'd all seen their fair share of horror and war, but did they truly know what loss was? Did they know what it was like to see the only family you'd ever known ripped apart in the name of sacrifice? The Spartan-IIIs did. They might not have looked like Spartans, but they were.

No, the IVs didn't understand, and that, to Linda, was the true difference.

"Fuck!," Kelly cursed loudly, interrupting Linda's reflection.

John, Fred and Linda glanced over at her.

Kelly flushed.

"I just, I pinched myself, that's all," she muttered.

Linda saw red and strode over to her teammate.

"Listen, I don't know what the _hell_ is up with you today but you'd better pull yourself together because I'll be _damned_ if you embarrass us in front of these wannabes," she hissed to Kelly, close to her face.

Kelly frowned. "They're not wannabes, they're trained and they're Spartans," she said sharply.

Linda rolled her eyes. She wasn't going to engage in argument.

"What I think Linda is saying is Blue Team needs to make a good showing today, Kelly, are you sure you're okay?," asked Fred more diplomatically.

"I'm fine," Kelly said a little sulkily as she put on her helmet, "Try and keep up with me while I'm wasting the competition."

John chuckled lowly, making his presence known for the first time.

"Your concern should be keeping up with me," he joked.

Linda put on her helmet and checked her HUD.

_At least Fred and John can keep it all together, I take it back, they're pretty damn good together._

Fred could do diplomacy, John could diffuse. It all worked rather smoothly. That being said, Linda truly did prefer to work alone. She was the only member of the UNSC who could shoot long-range without a spotter. It was why Blue Team only needed four members instead of the preferred five.

"Don't worry Linda," said Kelly, her tone slightly apologetic, "we're going to kick some major ass."

That's all I really care about.

Kelly really was feeling anxious about their proximity to the Spartan-IVs. She'd managed to avoid contact since the evening she'd had with Turner, but she knew avoiding Olympia would be impossible this week and it set her on edge.

_This is why you shouldn't have slept with him. You're distracted._

She bounced on the balls of her feet. She felt adrenaline pumping through her. She loved to compete and more than that, she loved to be the best. She had to do right by Blue Team and she had to do her part to ensure their superiority. She couldn't let a Spartan with dimples and nice hands get in the way of that.

He'd messaged her a few times to which she hadn't responded and tried to sit by her in vain during dinner. He'd given up mostly, leaving it at a few glances here and there.

She didn't know why she didn't really want to talk to him again, it just didn't seem like the right time or place. She'd liked her experience with him, truly, she'd do it again, but it just...it wasn't something she thought on often, and it wasn't something she desired to cultivate. She had a job to do, and that was her number one priority. She couldn't afford strong emotional bonds with people outside of Blue Team, it was too distracting.

_That's already been made apparent._

All the fireteams for this wave were in position when the arena went pitch black.

The exercise ran something like a tournament. Certain fireteams were pitted in rounds. An AI would track each Fireteam and evaluate them based upon cohesion, strategy, and, most importantly, total number of kills. Four teams in each round, each team would then, based upon their results advance to a specific bracket. By the end of the week there should be a clear winner.

_And that winner will be Blue Team._

The siren went off, and the exercise began.

* * *

"When does the Admiral and her party arrive?"

"In a few days, they're coming to watch the climax of the Red Flag exercises," Lasky said as he leaned on the bridge table.

Cortana nodded.

That's gonna bring a lot of scrutiny to Infinity, lots of cleaning, lots of stress for everyone involved.

"What do you think about this?"

She watched him move things around on the counsel that represented the terrain of Gorte, the next planet they were purging of Covenant splinter cells.

Cortana crossed her arms and assessed the situation.

"The Intel we've gathered says that this is exclusively a Covenant world, so we don't have to worry about civilian casualties, I'd say we could be a little more...forceful, than that," she rolled up her sleeves and tapped in a few strategic locations. She watched the Captain smile a little and reach for a specific Fireteam.

She quickly shook her head. "No, that's Fireteam Howler, I want them right there, they're better equipped than anyone for that kind of environment, Sergeant Cave was a Recon specialist before becoming a Spartan and they're very cohesive."

Lasky shook his head in awe.

_I know she was an AI but how the hell does she memorize everything still? She's nuts._

"Noted," he glanced over at the thoughtful Commander. Her help was really amazing. Before he had felt like he was spread pretty thin, trying to bridge the gap between the Intel section and the Operations side of things, but Commander 'Spencer' was extremely hands on, she made sure she was a little involved in everything. She was extremely thorough, considered every angle better than he'd ever been able to.

His eyes widened when he glanced at her forearms. She'd rolled up her sleeves in thought and on her were dark, heavy bruises on both of them.

"Commander, your arms," he said softly.

"What? I–" she glanced down and her eyes widened and she quickly pulled her sleeves down.

"Sorry, I shouldn't roll my sleeves up like that, still not used to the whole uniform thing," she stuttered.

He'd known that she'd been sleeping with her subordinate for quite some time. He would've been surprised if they hadn't and frankly would've worried there was something wrong.

"May I be frank?," he asked.

She nodded.

"He needs to be careful with you. A wrong move and he could accidentally kill you," he said softly.

She snorted.

"Wouldn't that be an interesting investigation?," she said wryly, letting go any pretense of denying what he'd implied.

He couldn't help but laugh.

She ran a hand through her hair and leaned her hip against the counsel. She stood so much more relaxed than most people in the military, probably because she'd never gone through any sort of formal military training. She was distinctly civilian in mannerism.

"No, I appreciate your concern but he's been the way he is since he was a teen, he knows I'm comparatively fragile and he has a good handle on things," she glanced over at him and he saw a devious glint in her eyes, "might be different with the IVs though, augmentations take quite a while to get used to, especially in such...uninhibited situations. Are you speaking from experience?," she raised an eyebrow teasingly.

He fought a blush down. He wasn't sure how she knew what she was implying, they'd been quite discreet.

"Your bridge crew talks more than they'd like you to think," she said, filling in the blanks for him.

He frowned.

_That's just fantastic._

He really didn't need people gossiping about him and Palmer but he supposed it couldn't be helped. He was surprised at how he really hadn't heard much about Cortana and the Chief, but then again he was pretty far removed from the Infinity rumor mill as the Captain.

Lasky awkwardly cleared his throat.

"Well anyways, I was thinking we'd push back the thirty hour inspection, I can approve it so that the crews can have time to get their stuff together before the big push to Gorte after the exercise."

"I think that sounds ideal, though I'm not sure how long you should let those inspections go red, might make more work in the long run and if we end up docking for repairs it'll be your ass."

"I'd rather risk my ass and have my maintenance crews half sane when they start prep for a jump that long, most of us will be going into cryo and everything needs to be ready before that."

Cortana nodded. She understood his rationale.

"Speaking of cryo, I need to go complete a few cryo training modules," she said with very little enthusiasm.

She had to admit, she was very nervous for her first cryosleep. Somehow she'd managed to avoid it, but she had no formal training in it and found the idea a little terrifying. She also knew that the Spartans would be in a completely separate wing, so she couldn't count on John to be there for her when she was naked and puking her brains out. Half of her was relieved, it wasn't a pleasant imagine of someone.

He nodded. "Wish I could help you with that, it's just something you've got to get used to. It's pretty miserable," he resisted the urge to itch his blisters on his chest.

She nodded stiffly. He could tell she found it nerve wracking.

"Roland?," he asked when she left the room.

The yellow Bombardier popped onto the holopad near the counsel.

"Yes sir?," he asked.

"Can you make sure Commander Spencer is thawed gently after our the big jump?"

Roland chuckled. "Already on that, I'll make sure she's sleeping in a happy little Navy cryopod, give her some of the nice drugs we don't normally authorize."

Lasky smiled. "You're quite the guy, Roland."

* * *

_Dead. Dead. They think they're sneaky and that I can't see them. I see everything._

It was the fourth day of Red Flag and Linda was very happy with Blue Team's progress. She hadn't been killed once and Blue Team was on a roll. It was easy to work well with people you'd known such a long time. The other Spartans provided a challenge, certainly more than she had anticipated, but they simply couldn't compare.

She watched through her scope as Fred engaged a simulated Elite in hand to hand combat, ultimately twisting its neck and letting it fall to the ground with a satisfying thud sound. Once they'd cleared this sector of Covenant, they could sweep for opposing Spartans and make short work of them.

Kelly held true to her promise and was more brutal than normal. Normally she was content scouting and running, leaving the kills for John or Fred, but Linda had never seen her take so many shots. It was different but interesting.

Linda still thought something was off with her, but she didn't really care if she kept performing this well.

She popped another Spartan in the head with a stun round, watching them collapse, temporarily knocked out.

_Keep them coming._

* * *

John collapsed on his bed. He shared a suite with Kelly and Linda while Fred got his own bathroom because he was an officer. They were considered privileged because they didn't share with five others.

_There need to be some perks to being the Master Chief I suppose._

These exercises were a little tedious. Sure, it was nice to test ones skills but John would rather be doing something he viewed as productive, like killing Covenant or finding Forerunner technology. Blue Team didn't really need an exercise like this and he still found it a little strange they were participating. It wasn't really fair to the Spartan-IVs, they simply didn't have the experience with this like they did.

John suspected it was to motivate the IVs. It was going to piss them off when Blue Team won the exercise, and hopefully motivate them to become more cohesive. He knew they were different but they were still Spartans, fiercely competitive and highly motivated.

In a bit of time they will be very formidable.

It was just a matter of time. The bonds he had with Blue Team couldn't be replicated in months or even a year. He had a lifetime with Blue Team, and he hoped that the IVs would seek to replicate that level of commitment on their own fireteams.

His datapad buzzed.

He reached for it quickly. He knew it would be Cortana.

_\--What are you up to?_

He couldn't help but smile the tiniest bit. When she'd been with him all the time he'd taken for granted how happy she made him. Even imagining her messaging him from her room made his stomach do a strange flip flop.

_\--Nothing._

He could see she was typing back.

_\--Verbose as usual, I see. You must be sore from such a long day of exercises._

He really wasn't, nothing he'd done this week had cause him much exertion, and Cortana knew this, but he'd learned she liked to play little games like this so he didn't mind indulging her.

_\--Nothing you couldn't sort out._

_\--Really now? What would you have me do about that?_

_\--Whatever you felt like, you're clever with your hands._

He smirked when he watched her take a while to respond. He knew she was getting worked up just thinking about him coming over. By the time he actually made his way over there she'd be ready to rip his clothes off and tackle him onto her bed, something she was surprisingly capable of if he let her.

_\--Anything specific?_

He held back a groan. He knew she liked him to talk to her but he felt like he was bad at it.

_\--I'm really more a man of action than words._

He could just imagine her sighing and rolling her eyes, giving up on drawing out more innuendos.

_\--Fine, you win, come over here, you can take the short way, shouldn't be anyone of note._

He locked his datapad and tossed it carelessly on his bed. He walked into the shared common area and noted Kelly and Linda's knowing gazes as he left their rooms.

He tried to walk with some dignity to her rooms. They were kilometers away on the other side of the Infinity and he knew that was intentional. They kept the Spartan and Navy quarters separate, the Marines stationed here were also completely isolated from either sister service. He hopped on a tram that would take him through the levels of infinity without him looking silly. He could walk there just fine but it looked more than a little ridiculous to see a Spartan running over to Navy quarters. He had to maintain some sense of decorum. Plus it was simply awkward. People either shied away from him deliberately or gazed upon him openly with awe and reverence. Both were strange for him.

All he could think about was her. Her laugh, her smile, her soft, yielding body and her full bottom lip...He did well ignoring it while he was working, but she occupied his every free moment. If he could fill his days with fighting and his nights with her he could live a hundred years and never be satisfied.

He tapped her door and found himself surprised when it opened automatically. She must have finally programed it to recognize him.

She was sitting on her couch reading. This would be perfectly normal, except she was wearing nothing but her underclothes.

She didn't speak a word to him as she stepped over to him, wrapped her tiny yet strong hands around his shoulders and jumped up to his waist, wrapping her slim legs around him and all but attacked his mouth.

_That's one way to get my attention._

She was insistent and aggressive, biting at his lip and wrapping her legs more tightly around him. He pressed her closer to him as he walked backwards to her bedroom and found his way to her bed, falling backwards with a loud thud–the bed clearly wasn't made for his weight but it somehow withstood the brunt of the action.

She pushed his shoulders into the bed so he was lying flat over the cotton bedspread and pressed her hips into his. He groaned at the sensation, he was already uncomfortably hard for her. She wasted no time, her gaze predatory as she pulled his shirt off of him. She pressed open-mouthed kisses down his chest, her tongue tracing over the random silvery scars that crisscrossed over his torso and continued down to his pants, pulling them down with his underwear in a smooth motion.

_She's getting good at that._

She smiled up at him and kissed his hipbones. The mere proximity of her mouth to his cock made his groin twitch uncomfortably.

"What are you–" he gasped when she wrapped her lips around the tip of him. "I–you–"

She took her mouth off of him for a split second and looked up at him.

"Care to recite more vowels?," she asked snarkily.

He groaned and simply pushed her back to the new and extremely important task she'd begun.

He felt her laugh low in her throat as she took as much of him into her mouth as she could and grabbed the remainder of him with her hand and started moving. The sight of those lips wrapped around him gave him tunnel vision. He'd never imagined this happening, never thought of it but now that it was happening he knew this was something would be forever burned into his memory.

His pleasure came so quickly and violently that he didn't have time to warn her before he came, making a complete mess of her mouth, his cum dripping down her chin. She simply laughed and wiped her chin of the mess onto the back of her hand.

If she minded he couldn't tell because she quickly made her way back up to his mouth and kissed him. Clearly her ministrations hadn't done anything to tire her. It was strange tasting himself on her mouth but it neither bothered nor aroused him further, it was simply an odd detail.

She kissed him slowly and deeply, her tongue plundering his mouth, those lips he loved so much catching on his own as she worked up against him. He grabbed her hair tightly in one hand, loving the soft strands of it and one of her breasts with his other hand, loving the softness and sensual fleshiness of it. She hummed when he pinched her nipple slightly. He broke from her mouth and kissed up her throat loving how she arched her back and moaned when he did that. The way she arched put her breast close to his mouth, he shifted her up and took her in his mouth, kissing and sucking every sensitive part, particularly her nipple and the underside, that always made her go wild.

Despite coming once already, he could feel that he was still hard and wanting. He reached down to her and his condition was exacerbated by just how wet she was for him.

_She's so needy._

The idea of her being consumed with want for him and the physical manifestation of it drove him mad. He rubbed in a circular motion right where he knew made her gasp and clench, finding satisfaction when he got just that reaction.

She growled as he slowed down after a few moments.

"So help me John I'm going to fuck you through this mattress."

He couldn't help but laugh. He didn't have the same proclivity for vulgarity she did in bed. Outside of this she almost never swore which made it oddly sexy to him, hearing someone so normally composed utter absolutely filthy things was enthralling. He also just loved the sound of her voice saying essentially anything.

She lowered herself onto him slowly. When she was on top like this the night usually ended with him begging for her to finish him, but he had a feeling he wasn't going to be the one begging tonight. She seemed desperate and wound up, and since he'd already had his pleasure he knew he could last as long as she needed him to without a problem.

She worked slowly, her hips moving against him with intensity but no true urgency. She was intent on making him spend himself again, she'd spent enough time reading up on this that she was going to make it worth her while.

When she started to see signs of his pleasure again after a few minutes she started moving faster. With the increased speed she could feel her own release coiling behind her navel.

_God yes, I could do this forever._

When her peak took her, she bent down, seizing his head in her hands and his lips with hers. Her lips, then her teeth. A great, guttural moan escaped from him as she dragged his lower lip between her teeth. She felt his body spasm beneath her as she rode out the last moments of her orgasm, panting and sighing his name the whole time.

She moaned and collapsed against his heaving chest. Sweaty skin pressed against sweaty skin, and limbs tangled together on the austere bedding.

She caught her breath and rolled off of him, tucking herself underneath his arm and resting her head on his chest.

"Where did that come from?," he asked incredulously after a few minutes of silence.

She laughed. "I couldn't sleep one night and I just started reading up on some things. I take it you enjoyed yourself?"

He snorted.

"Do as much reading as you want," he said lowly. She laughed even harder and kissed him on his cheek.

"I'm glad I could make you happy."

"You always make me happy," he responded automatically.

She raised an eyebrow. "That's not true, you were pretty pissed at me last week," she teased.

He rolled his eyes. "That's work, it's different."

She smiled. "I know, I'm just teasing."

She looked at his bottom lip that was starting to bruise.

I need to stop doing that, people are going to think he got punched in the face or something ridiculous like that.

She glanced down at her wrists.

"Lasky noticed my wrists today," she said softly as she absentmindedly traced circles on his chest.

He frowned.

"How would he know what they're from?"

Bruises were a fact of life when they were together. To start, she bruised easily and John was simply too strong to not leave various bruises on her body. Usually it wasn't a problem, he never lost so much control as to actually harm her and she usually left her own mark on him to even things out. But if Lasky noticed something was off…

"Because him and Palmer are fucking, so he knows what Spartan sex usually entails," she said lightly.

"What?!"

She giggled.

"It pays to be friends with the shipboard AI," she explained.

John shook his head. He felt bad about how he disapproved. Technically, their relationship was more appropriate than his and Cortana's–they were both officers in separate chain of commands in separate services, while Cortana was technically his XO. That being said, something about it just looked bad. And everyone knew he and Cortana had their own rules to play by, or at least Blue Team seemed to have a fair understanding. He also knew that he simply didn't care about the rules when it came to her. He'd accepted it, for better or for worse that she was his priority, his reason for everything. He'd adjusted to the fact that the focus of his entire world had shifted on that day above Earth.

"It'll keep people from gossiping about us, Roland started spreading a few rumors to cover our asses, he gives a surprising amount of fucks about my success and happiness."

John didn't know how to feel about that, but he figured it'll be what it'll be, no use trying to worry about things like that.

"I don't care who or what Lasky is doing, I care about you," he murmured into her ear. He pressed a soft kiss onto her temple. She closed her eyes and hummed.

"I know John."

John. He could listen to her say his name for hours. Coming from anyone else, it hardly meant anything. Kelly occasionally called him John, but it was still a little strange. From her it was just right. It's who he was with her. It was everything he needed.

She was everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaaack here too! I love HALO SMUT! This chapter is dedicated to Seventy-Four Mudkips (which happens to be the best user name ever). Check out their stories, they're all amazing! I want to pick a favorite but I simply can't, they're all excellent. Anyone who helps proliferate Halo smut is a friend of mine! Please review. :)

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, I went there. The rest of this will probably continue in a similar vein. Shouldn't detract from my other story, updates will be whenever I feel like. I hope you guys enjoyed, I think this fandom really needs some smut so I'm happy to contribute shamelessly. :P


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